True life story

bendizoid

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I’m always interested in a cool story. Here’s one of mine:
I was suppose to meet this builder at a house to look at a chimney problem. I wanted to give a good impression and maybe increase my business network so I showed up early. Only problem is I was too early and decided to park at the library parking lot (a few blocks away) and chill out for 15-20 minutes till it was time to go.
Fifteen minutes later I turn the key to start my truck up and clicking sound, OMG ! Dead battery !
I pop the hood and start looking for a quick jump start and what do you know, the guy parked right next to my truck gets in his car. I walk up to him (he’s in the driver seat) and meekly ask him for a jump start. The guy stares at me with this weird look, almost mocking or something, and doesn’t even answer. I’m kinda thinking “ok, at least you can say no!” So I walk away saying “Ok Asshole”.
I see another driver in the lot and approach him for a quick jump start. I offer him $10. He says “You don’t have to pay me. I’ll give you a jump start.”
That’s when I heard the car door close. The guy whom I had just called an ‘asshole’ was out of his car and moving, ut-oh, my stupid remark might have repercussions.
He walks up to me, honestly I’m a little nervous , what the hell is he going to say?
He says, (swear to God) “ I was having a seizure and was confused and didn’t know what was happening. I snapped out of it when you called me an asshole.”
I said “ I’m the asshole! Your blank stare freaked me out! Sorry ‘bout that. I’m just trying to go to this important meeting.”
The epileptic guy popped his hood and gave my truck the jump start it needed. I wanted to hug him. Lol.

In retrospect, maybe that guy shouldn’t be driving but at least I learned a good lesson “things are not always as they seem.”.
 
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bendizoid

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Here’s one about my friend Dave. He died way too early and here’s one story:
Dave was driving down the street and saw this fight going on. It looked like one of his friends vs. three dudes. The guy fighting (later a US marine) was named Jake and he was not the friend Dave thought he was, a different person entirely. Dave quickly pulls his car over to rush to the aid of the guy whom he thinks is his friend currently fighting against 3-1 odds. Jake sees it differently, now a new guy is charging, a fourth adversary “Oh great ! Now 4 against one! ”
Dave runs up and looks at Jake and realizes he is not who he thought he was, makes a split second decision and yells “I GOT YUR BACK !” Anyway!
The two new friends chased the other three away and became great friends from that day forward. That’s the way Dave rolled, made friends everywhere he went. The end.
 
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bendizoid

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I got a call from my brother-in-law Frank. He needs a crew of guys to fill in and move the Ace Hardware corporate headquarters. You see this mid-level executive named Jen had just fired two crews of movers (about 20 people) because she didn’t like the looks of them. I thought a second and realized my friend and his band mates needed work so I say “I can get a crew there tomorrow at 7 AM”
Me and the ‘band’ show up at 7am sharp and start moving stuff. One of the band has a t-shirt that has a picture of a five leafed plant that says ‘Weed’ (what an idiot). Anyway, we follow the plan given to us and put in solid work all day long. We take apart desks and shelves and stuff and move them to the new office across the parking lot. The whole time we asked every person we met “Are you Jen?” or “Have you seen Jen ?” it became a running joke. Eventually at 3:30 we find the elusive Jen and she wants us to do stuff. I tell her “We have to leave at 4 because that’s when my crew’s kids get out of school.” So we leave and I drove all four of us home but I get the phone call from Frank, basically “Can you go back there and make Jen happy?”
I turn the car around and drive all the way back and right when I get back to the Ace Corporate Headquarters the phone rings again “ forget it, go home and go back tomorrow morning at 9am.” I drive home again, lol.
Next day Saturday I show up on time to finish the job. I sit and wait, nobody lets me in. I call Frank 1/2 an hour later “I can’t get in. I’m going to leave in 15 minutes.” He tells me go to the front door- there is Jen.
Have you ever been ambushed verbally? You know, when the other person fumigated all night long and thought of all types of crap to release a barrage with next time they see you ? It happened to me. Jen to the third degree: “ What time did you get here yesterday? And what did you do? And blah blah blah...... ?!?!?” Finally, “Give me back your security pass”. I hand it over.
I walk dejected toward the door with my bucket of tools, demoralized. Then, in the doorway I stopped and thought “I’m going to get everyone fired !”
I turn to Jen and say with great conviction “YOU KNOW WHAT, YOU GOTTA BAD ATTITUDE !”
She vents “ You’re damn right I do ! Dominick lied and Dominick this and Dominick that.... “
I half lie “I don’t like Dominick either, besides, I work for Frank.”
She says “Frank? I like Frank.”
I say “ Yes, he sent me here to help YOU !”
Jen “Here’s your pass back, let’s do this.”
 
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bendizoid

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Way back in the day when I was probably 16 years old I got my drivers license and soon thereafter my first speeding ticket. It wasn’t too bad a ticket, just 7-9 miles over the limit. A friend told me I should go to court and ask for supervision that way it doesn’t go on your permanent record. I intercepted the mail so my folks wouldn’t know and kept it on the low down.
When the day comes I put on my best shirt and show up at the crowded courthouse to find my courtroom. Cautiously I make my way in and don’t know what to expect, I’m a nervous kid in court for the first time.
Anyway, they would call people up in groups of eight and you would stand in line until it was your turn. They call my name “Here !” I go stand and pay attention. The judge looked and acted mean as hell. “No ! Supervision denied !”, “I don’t believe you- Guilty !” He had a mean scowl and a quick temper and even gave the cops crap. His name was Judge Hennessy. After all the people in front of me are either guilty or denied supervision they call my name. I step up and the judge says in a super syrupy voice “Well, Miiiister Bendis. So nice to meet you. How can I help today?” Stunned by the sudden incredible sarcasm I figure I must be in big trouble, he hasn’t been nice to anyone !! I stumble with words “ I’d like to maybe...if it’s ok to ask the court for court supervision...maybe?”
Hennessy eyes the ceiling as if to deeply consider the matter then taps the gavel like a magic wand and says sweet as silk “court supervision granted.”
I walk out kinda bewildered on “Why was he so nice to me?” It was like he was messing with me, made the whole thing...eerie.
Later on that very day maybe during dinner my Dad says to me “I heard you got a speeding ticket, is that true?”
I’m busted, embarrassed and freaked “How does he know?” but say the right thing “yes, I got one. Just payed the fine.”
My Dad smiling “I was playing racket ball with Judge Hennessy and he told me all about it. Please slow down.”
 
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bendizoid

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A few years ago I was taking a nap in my bedroom. I lightly woke up and looked around from my bed. I had the most strange feeling that I was being watched. Now fully awake, I scanned the room for whatever might be lurking, getting goose pimples thinking “I must be getting crazy, paranoid, afraid of an empty room.” I was alone at home and the door to the bedroom was wide open, windows shut.
For some reason I looked at the door and thought “If that door closes, I’m going to freak the f**k out “. “Bam!” Instantly, as if ‘It’ had read my mind the door sharply slammed shut.
Panic, that’s the best description, I quickly left the bedroom to sleep on the couch, and that’s where I have slept ever since. No other brazin ‘poltergeist’ activity has been observed, except a guitar randomly fell off a ‘guitarhook’ on the wall one morning, been hang’in there for twelve years (anything but the guitars, you ghost bastards !) once is enough.

Conclusions: I’m now a believer in the paranormal. When something as real and personal happens to you, nobody else ‘gets it’, few believe or understand. But I know it happened.
Whatever this ‘thing’ was that slammed the door shut, be it space alien, demon, ghost, Djinn, poltergeist or whatever IT CAN READ YOUR MIND, they understand English and they are telekinetic. I think they get a kick scaring the crap outta people, somehow siphoning energy. Don’t feed it by thinking about it. Don’t try to communicate with it, pray instead.
So, I don’t know what’s out there but can Assuredly say THERE IS SOMETHING !
 
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fenyan

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When I was a kid, we had a small room leading to the basement with a shelve of books. There was a book about ghosts or some such that I was always afraid to read. One night I picked it off the shelf and opened it up. Not too long later, the lamp switched off and put the room into complete darkness. I dropped the book and quickly booked out of the room upstairs. I think it was just a slippery switch on the lamp but I was quite shaken!

Here's another very short story. While backpacking in the California Sierra, I scrambled up a 8000-foot peak with a friend. At the top we were enjoying the view. I looked down into a crack between the boulders and found a wristwatch. It was a Timex, and yes it was still ticking. Wasn't sure how long it was up there but it seemed to have survived at least a few mountain storms from the weathering. I gave it to my buddy. At the time I think there was a ad tagline that went "Takes a licking but keeps on ticking."
 

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I learned a good lesson “things are not always as they seem.”.
I am deaf in one ear. I have trouble hearing in certain situations, and sometimes it takes me a few seconds to process what I hear. Many people who know me don't realize this, because I otherwise appear normal.

One time I was getting off an airplane. It was a smaller plane, and as we were filing out, the pilots were standing by the cabin like they often do. As I got near the door, one of the pilots said something to me, and then moved towards me. I didn't understand him, probably because I wasn't concentrating on listening to him, so I paused and looked at him for a few seconds trying to figure out what was going on. Then he said something rude to me. Looking back, I think he was trying to move past me and wanted me to step aside, or something, and when I didn't move right away, he thought I was being a jerk. I was a little hurt (just a little) and thought about complaining to the airline, but I just let it go.

Things are not always as they seem, and assuming the best in people goes a long way.
 

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She says “Frank? I like Frank.”
I say “ Yes, he sent me here to help YOU !”
Jen “Here’s your pass back, let’s do this.”
I was finishing grad school. This was back in the day when word processors were just becoming common. My last and biggest task was to finish my thesis, get it typed, and then accepted by our library. The specifications on the thesis were overwhelming - must be done on a certain type of acid-free paper, with very specific requirements for things like the margins, footnotes, and every little detail.

I made the wise choice to pay our division secretary, Annetta, to type it. She was in her 60s or 70s back then. Typewriters were still around, but the standard was the IBM selectric. But Annetta had an ancient typewriter with special keys for the Greek letters we needed for our equations, and she would type while watching Phil Donahue blaring on a little black and white TV in her office. She was a legend and rarely made a mistake. I remember paying her $175 to type my thesis, which was a lot of money back then.

So it was the Friday at the end of the quarter, right before the graduation ceremony. I had to get my thesis over to the library and get it accepted. It was the last step I needed to do to be able to go through the ceremony on Sunday. My whole family was going to be there.

It was getting late in the afternoon. I finally got my thesis, and speed-walked across campus to the library. I needed to go the 8th floor but, crap, the elevator was out of service. That won't stop me, and I climbed the stairs.

Huffing and puffing, I arrived at the office of the librarian that had the job of thesis review. It was now about 330pm and I still had to go to the registrar with my completed checklist before they closed.

The librarian was another older woman and probably not happy that another disorganized grad student was dumping a thesis on her late on a Friday afternoon.

She sat me down at a table, put my thesis if front of her, and started going through it page by page, scrutinizing each page for the slightest flaw. I knew that if she found one mistake, I'd have to resubmit and I'd miss the ceremony.

She said, "Let's start with the table of contents." She licked her finger and turned a page.

I said, "Annetta told me to say hi to you."

The librarian said "Oh! Did Annetta type this for you?"

I said "Yes, she did. She is amazing, isn't she?"

The librarian said "Well, if she typed it then I know it's perfect and I don't have to review it. Your thesis is accepted. Give me the checklist I need to sign for you and you can be on your way."

Boom. I was officially graduated!
 

Actionjick

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The destroyer I was stationed on was steaming in the area of the Bermuda Triangle cruising north. I had just gotten off of the eight to twelve evening watch and was on deck with a couple shipmates just shooting the sh!t, joking about how we were in the Bermuda Triangle.

Suddenly the ship's lights went out and we just stood there in the blackness for a few seconds until the lights came back on. One of the generators had tripped, nothing out of the ordinary except for the timing. Still freaked us out in the moment.
 

Actionjick

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I’m always interested in a cool story. Here’s one of mine:
I was suppose to meet this builder at a house to look at a chimney problem. I wanted to give a good impression and maybe increase my business network so I showed up early. Only problem is I was too early and decided to park at the library parking lot (a few blocks away) and chill out for 15-20 minutes till it was time to go.
Fifteen minutes later I turn the key to start my truck up and clicking sound, OMG ! Dead battery !
I pop the hood and start looking for a quick jump start and what do you know, the guy parked right next to my truck gets in his car. I walk up to him (he’s in the driver seat) and meekly ask him for a jump start. The guy stares at me with this weird look, almost mocking or something, and doesn’t even answer. I’m kinda thinking “ok, at least you can say no!” So I walk away saying “Ok Asshole”.
I see another driver in the lot and approach him for a quick jump start. I offer him $10. He says “You don’t have to pay me. I’ll give you a jump start.”
That’s when I heard the car door close. The guy whom I had just called an ‘asshole’ was out of his car and moving, ut-oh, my stupid remark might have repercussions.
He walks up to me, honestly I’m a little nervous , what the hell is he going to say?
He says, (swear to God) “ I was having a seizure and was confused and didn’t know what was happening. I snapped out of it when you called me an asshole.”
I said “ I’m the asshole! Your blank stare freaked me out! Sorry ‘bout that. I’m just trying to go to this important meeting.”
The epileptic guy popped his hood and gave my truck the jump start it needed. I wanted to hug him. Lol.

In retrospect, maybe that guy shouldn’t be driving but at least I learned a good lesson “things are not always as they seem.”.
Did you get the chimney job?
 

Actionjick

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The sub was in the Caribbean and the CO decided to surface and give us swim call and a chance for some fresh air.

Cargo nets were put over the side, divers were in the water and a shipmate with a rifle was standing guard on the sail looking out for sharks. Several of us were swimming and having a good time when it was announced " sharks in the water "! We all scrambled up the cargo nets and were lounging around on deck.

A mess cook came up from below with a bag of trash that he threw over the side. As it was floating astern it was suddenly lifted a few feet out of the water by a shark and then disappeared below the surface. I then disappeared down the nearest hatch.
 
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fenyan

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When backpacking, pooping is best done away from the camp, in a cathole you dig, away from water sources.

We were in Kings Canyon National Park as my friends headed out onto the trail in the morning. I'll catch up, I said, as I headed away from camp into the woods to do my thing. Camp was by a river, and as I walked away from camp I crossed a small tributary. Eventually, 10 minutes later I found a nice private spot. Then I hiked back to camp. Except I didn't hike straight. I cross the small tributary, so I thought. Then I ran into another small tributary. Had I strayed left or right?

I ended up circling for at least 20 minutes. Lost in the woods. Eventually I found myself in small meadow. Looking up, I saw a large black bear (it was actually brownish), about 100 yards away, standing there on all fours, its head turned to its left, staring straight at me. I slowly reached down to grab a rock. I backed away slowly. I thought, if attacked, how long would it take for them to find my body? I was alone and nobody knew where i was. I knew I wouldn't be able to outrun it.

However, the bear lost interest and walked away in an opposite direction. What a relief! Fortunately it wasn't in "hunting mode." Unlike in the east, California bears are usually not agressive, and I don't think there's been a fatality due to a black bear in California for a long long time. I think all the aggressive ones (including the grizzlies) were eradicated out of the gene pool in California.

I finally wised up and made a large arc to the left and hiked until I encountered the river. Then, I followed the river up to where camp should be. And I found it. Happily I slung my pack on and caught up with my friends.
 

bendizoid

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I had another break up with my bipolar girlfriend Tiffany. I was kinda mad and didn’t want to talk to her until I calmed down- silent treatment. She tried to call me dozens of times and got desperate and found a tee-shirt I left at her place. The tee-shirt was from the guy I worked for, L&M carpenters and had Dom’s phone number on it.
A couple of days later I show up for work in Chicago. It’s 6:45 in the morning and nobody wants to be there. I notice Dom laughing crazy in his van and he motions for me to come over. He says, with his head face down on his arm through tears of laughter, “Bobby, you gotta hear this !” and holds out his phone, containing himself so I can hear. It’s a message from Tiffany and the nastiest message you ever heard, two minutes of “Bob thinks you’re and asshole and Bob don’t like you and Bob thinks you’re an idiot …. Blah blah blah.”
Dom goes “You ain’t happy here, I’M GIVING YOU A RAISE, two dollars/hour !”
After work I stop by Tiffany’s apartment and yelled at her through the 2nd story window “ YOU TRIED TO GET ME FIRED BUT I GOT A RAISE INSTEAD ! I’m too good ! I am great ! I am great ! “


LOLOLOLOL
 
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