The Great ASL Novelty Song Contest

[Bad Dice]

So I'm over at SgtSchmutz' house one fine day and I mention something about writing ASL novelty songs (you Weird Al Yankovic fans will know what I'm talking about) and found out that Sgt Schmutz also likes to write them.

SgtSchmutz then goes the extra step and drops the challenge glove, suggesting a contest with the winner determined by popular vote.

That's where you guys come in.

We're each going to post a novelty song rewritten to an ASL theme, and you all will vote for which song you liked better, voting by way of a poll, with each song in the contest posted as a separate thread.

There, you've been warned.

Let the madness begin...


BD

 

[Psycho]

ASL is like a tidal wave, spinning over my head
Drownin' me in your minutiae, better left unsaid
You're the wrong kind of winner, to release my inner competitor
The invincible winner, and you know that you were born to sleaze

You're a rule breaker
Rule Maker, Win Taker
Don't you mess around with me!
You're a rule breaker
Rule Maker, Win Taker
Don't you mess around - NO NO NO!

Your kindling has set my soul on fire, burnin' out of control
You taught me the ways of A.2, now its takin' its toll
You're the wrong kind of winner, to release my inner competitor
The invincible winner, and you know that you were born to sleaze

You're a rule breaker
Rule Maker, Win Taker
Don't you mess around with me!
You're a rule breaker
Rule Maker, Win Taker
Don't you mess around - NO NO NO!

You're the wrong kind of winner, to release my inner competitor
The invincible winner, and you know that you were born to sleaze

You're a rule breaker
Rule Maker, Win Taker
Don't you mess around with me!
You're a rule breaker
Rule Maker, Win Taker
Don't you mess around with me!
You're a rule breaker
Rule Maker, Win Taker
Don't you mess around with me!
You're a rule breaker
Rule Maker, Win Taker
Rule breaker!

 

[2 Bit Bill]

ASL is like a tidal wave, spinning over my head
Drownin' me in your minutiae, better left unsaid
You're the wrong kind of winner, to release my inner competitor
The invincible winner, and you know that you were born to sleaze

You're a rule breaker
Rule Maker, Win Taker
Don't you mess around with me!
You're a rule breaker
Rule Maker, Win Taker
Don't you mess around - NO NO NO!

Your kindling has set my soul on fire, burnin' out of control
You taught me the ways of A.2, now its takin' its toll
You're the wrong kind of winner, to release my inner competitor
The invincible winner, and you know that you were born to sleaze

You're a rule breaker
Rule Maker, Win Taker
Don't you mess around with me!
You're a rule breaker
Rule Maker, Win Taker
Don't you mess around - NO NO NO!

You're the wrong kind of winner, to release my inner competitor
The invincible winner, and you know that you were born to sleaze

You're a rule breaker
Rule Maker, Win Taker
Don't you mess around with me!
You're a rule breaker
Rule Maker, Win Taker
Don't you mess around with me!
You're a rule breaker
Rule Maker, Win Taker
Don't you mess around with me!
You're a rule breaker
Rule Maker, Win Taker
Rule breaker!

That is so lame!
But it is the only submission.
Perhaps I may have to tidy up He Rolled 13 Times by Tennessee Ernie Fish?
:vegguitar::devil::bandrum::vegguitar::violin::violin::violin:

 

[Psycho]

That is so lame!
But it is the only submission.
Perhaps I may have to tidy up He Rolled 13 Times by Tennessee Ernie Fish?
:vegguitar::devil::bandrum::vegguitar::violin::violin::violin:

Well if anybody would know lame...

PS Pervert! :angry:

 

[Kevin Kenneally]

Pete Belford was a great ASL song writer.

Has anyone heard from him lately?

 

[Psycho]

With apologies to Mr Plant & Mr Page:

Hey, hey, Pitman, said the way you b!tch,
Gonna make you sweat, MMP ain't getting rich.
Ah, ah, Pitman, way you shake that finger,
Gonna make you burn, Psycho's got a zinger.
Hey, hey, Pitman, when you whine that way,
Watch your posts, the guys can't keep away.

Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh, oh, oh
Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh, oh, oh

Pitman's gotta complain, can't sit still,
Got a flamin' red ass, can't get his fill,
Eyes that shine burning red,
Dreams of black 658s all through his head.
Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah...

Hey Pitman, oh Pitman, pretty Pit,
Tell me would you play Mila 18 now.
Hey Pitman, oh Pitman, pretty Pit,
Captured Partisans you can Massacre now.

Take too long b'fore you caved in,
Playing black SS is a wonderful sin.
Spent your money, bought A Bridge Too Far,
Punched out the counters, you're gonna be a star.
You don't know, but you've been taken,
Those counters are Holst's so they've been faken.

Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh, oh, ah
Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh, oh, ah

All you ask for, All you pray,
Are some real SS counters gonna come your way?
Need the real thing in your hand,
tell you no lies, make you a happy man.

Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah...

Ahhhhhh!

Ooooh-ahhhh

 

[Kevin Kenneally]

With apologies to Mr Plant & Mr Page:

Hey, hey, Pitman, said the way you b!tch,
Gonna make you sweat, MMP ain't getting rich.
Ah, ah, Pitman, way you shake that finger,
Gonna make you burn, Psycho's got a zinger.
Hey, hey, Pitman, when you whine that way,
Watch your posts, the guys can't keep away.

Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh, oh, oh
Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh, oh, oh

Pitman's gotta complain, can't sit still,
Got a flamin' red ass, can't get his fill,
Eyes that shine burning red,
Dreams of black 658s all through his head.
Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah...

Hey Pitman, oh Pitman, pretty Pit,
Tell me would you play Mila 18 now.
Hey Pitman, oh Pitman, pretty Pit,
Captured Partisans you can Massacre now.

Take too long b'fore you caved in,
Playing black SS is a wonderful sin.
Spent your money, bought A Bridge Too Far,
Punched out the counters, you're gonna be a star.
You don't know, but you've been taken,
Those counters are Holst's so they've been faken.

Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh, oh, ah
Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh, oh, ah

All you ask for, All you pray,
Are some real SS counters gonna come your way?
Need the real thing in your hand,
tell you no lies, make you a happy man.

Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah...

Ahhhhhh!

Ooooh-ahhhh

So what is better?

The Ooooh or the ahhhh?

And "That's what she said" is a very poor response.

 

[Psycho]

So what is better?

The Ooooh or the ahhhh?

And "That's what she said" is a very poor response.

That's something you probably never hear.

 

[Psycho]

AC/DC (not like that, perverts! :angry

Back in black
Russian stack
Range is too long but I'm glad to be back
Bursts, let loose
Feel the juice
That's kept me hanging about
I've been looking at the sky
'Cause it's gettin' me high
Forget the Sonderkraftfahrzeug 251 'cause I never die
I got nine lives
Tiger's eyes
Abusin' every one of them and running wild

'Cause I'm back
Yes, I'm back
Well, I'm back
Yes, I'm back
Well, I'm back, back
(Well) I'm back in black
Yes, I'm back in black

Across the board
A Russian horde
Save a bullet, good lord
Mauser's bang
Partisan gang
They've got to catch me if they want me to hang
Cause I'm back on the halftrack
And I'm beatin' the flak
Nobody's gonna get me on an atrocity rap
Don't look at me now
I'm just makin' my play
Don't try to push your luck, just get out of my way

Well, I'm back, Yes I'm back
Well, I'm back, Yes I'm back
Well, I'm back, back
Well I'm back in black
Yes I'm back in black

hooo yeah
Ohh yeah
Yes I am
Oooh yeah, yeah Oh yeah
Back in now
Well I'm back, I'm back
Back, I'm back
Back, I'm back
Back, I'm back
Back, I'm back
Back
Back in black
Yes I'm back in black
Out of LOS!

 

[Psycho]

Diamond David Lee Tater

I'm just an internet troll and everywhere I go
People know the part I'm playing
Posting in every thread, b!tching about libs
Ooh, what they're saying

There would come a day when FOX will pass away
What will they say about me
When the end comes I know
They say "He was just an internet troll"
Life goes on without me

I'm just an internet troll and everywhere I go
People know the part I'm playing
Posting in every thread, b!tching about libs
Ooh, what they're saying

There would come a day when FOX will pass away
What will they say about me
When the end comes I know
They say "He was just an internet troll"
Life goes on without me

Cuz I ain't got nobody
Nobody cares for me, nobody, nobody cares for me
I'm so sad and lonely
Sad and lonely, sad and lonely
Won't some forum come and take a chance with me
Cuz I ain't so bad
Sad and lonesome all the time
Even on the beat, on the, on the beat
I ain't got nobody
Nobody cares for me, nobody, nobody

Really ain't got nobody, sad and lonesome
Scrote need love

I, I, I, ain't got nobody
Nobody, nobody cares for me, nobody, nobody
I'm so sad and lonely, sad and lonely
Won't some forum come and take a chance with me
Cuz I ain't so bad
Really want that Pitman, little loving Pitman all the time
Even on the beat, cherry, cherry on the beat
Need a Starter Kit
Feeling sick
Got nobody, no, nobody, nobody
Nobody, nobody, no one, no one

Strawman, hypocrite, hypocrite
Getting IFT, got to see the math
Over there, nobody, got no one, nobody
Nobody, nobody, nobody
Nobody, nobody cares for me

 

[2 Bit Bill]

Diamond David Lee Tater

I'm just an internet troll and everywhere I go
People know the part I'm playing
Posting in every thread, b!tching about libs
Ooh, what they're saying

There would come a day when FOX will pass away
What will they say about me
When the end comes I know
They say "He was just an internet troll"
Life goes on without me

I'm just an internet troll and everywhere I go
People know the part I'm playing
Posting in every thread, b!tching about libs
Ooh, what they're saying

There would come a day when FOX will pass away
What will they say about me
When the end comes I know
They say "He was just an internet troll"
Life goes on without me

Cuz I ain't got nobody
Nobody cares for me, nobody, nobody cares for me
I'm so sad and lonely
Sad and lonely, sad and lonely
Won't some forum come and take a chance with me
Cuz I ain't so bad
Sad and lonesome all the time
Even on the beat, on the, on the beat
I ain't got nobody
Nobody cares for me, nobody, nobody

Really ain't got nobody, sad and lonesome
Scrote need love

I, I, I, ain't got nobody
Nobody, nobody cares for me, nobody, nobody
I'm so sad and lonely, sad and lonely
Won't some forum come and take a chance with me
Cuz I ain't so bad
Really want that Pitman, little loving Pitman all the time
Even on the beat, cherry, cherry on the beat
Need a Starter Kit
Feeling sick
Got nobody, no, nobody, nobody
Nobody, nobody, no one, no one


Strawman, hypocrite, hypocrite
Getting IFT, got to see the math
Over there, nobody, got no one, nobody
Nobody, nobody, nobody
Nobody, nobody cares for me

:smoke::hail::hail::hail::hail::hail::hail::angry:

 

[2 Bit Bill]

ASLOk in Ohio is a short ditty from the Rock Opera; The 25th Anniversary of ASLOk (including such dynamic hits as; He Rolled 13 Times/16 Tons, Until I Rolled A 9/Love Potion #9, 3 Turns/Free Bird, GROFAZ Will Never Die/Ghost Riders in the Sky, Rate Of Fire/Ring of Fire, and many, many more)

:vegguitar::vegguitar::bandrum::broccoli::bandrum::vegguitar::vegguitar:
ASLOk in Ohio
Wild Bill Bret and Nixon's coming
Action Burk and Fish will show
This Autumn I hear some gunning
ASLOk in O-HI-O

Gotta get down there
Play a se nair eee ohh
So many rules I don't know

What if I played you
and broke all your men
How can you Rout in Open Ground?
(REPEAT ALL)

ASLOk in O-HI-O (spoken with feeling) you better tell me
ASLOk in O-HI-O I rolled a snake-eyes
ASLOk in O-HI-O we need a ruling
ASLOk in O-HI-O (repeat & fade out)

 

[SgtSchmutz]

Excelsior gentlemen! It brings tears to my eyes to see such fine parodies out there!
I cast my vote for Back in Black (and not because I'm partial to ACDC). It seems like we're all of the same generation as I know all of the songs.

Also, I encourage you to go participate in the ASL song contest that the2halfsquads is running. They announced it in podcast episode #47. I've already submitted 3 and have 3 more about to send.

I need to check with Bad Dice to see if we're ready for round 3. My next entry is called "Russian Berserkers" to the tune of "Hole in the Bucket".

Regards,

Sgt. Schmutz

 

[Psycho]

Apologies to the Beastie Boys:

Goosestep It!

You wake up late for Gamesquad man you don't wanna go,
You ask Pitman "please?" but he still says "NO!"
You miss two threads and no homework
but Pitman preaches morality like you're some kind of jerk

You gotta fight, for your right,
to be a Naaaaaaaaaaaaaaazi

Pitman caught you postin' and he said "NO WAY!"
That hypocrite posts two dozen polls a day!
Man living under Pitrule is such a drag
Now Pitman threw away your best Richard Landwehr mag (Busted)

You gotta fight, for your right,
to be a Naaaaaaaaaaaaaaazi

You gotta fight

Don't step outta this house if that's the sheet you're gonna wear!
Burning crosses again? DON'T YOU DARE!!
Pitman busted in and said "IS THAT A DAVID IRVING BOOK?"
Aww, Pitman you're just jealous, the man's not a crook!

You gotta fight, for your right,
to be a Naaaaaaaaaaaaaaazi

You gotta fight, for your right,
to be a Naaaaaaaaaaaaaaazi

Naaaaaaaaaaaaaaazi!

Naaaaaaaaaaaaaaazi!

 

[2 Bit Bill]

yeah yeah yeah
simply rubbish!(with English accent)

I've already started workin' on;
GROW UP!(Colonel Bogey/Bridge otr Kwai)

GROW UP!
and play some A S L
Roll low
and you-will-feel real swell

now if I could just stay focused :smoke::smoke::smoke::smoke::smoke::bored::bored:

 

[Srynerson]

Apologies to the Beastie Boys:

Goosestep It!

You wake up late for Gamesquad man you don't wanna go,
You ask Pitman "please?" but he still says "NO!"
You miss two threads and no homework
but Pitman preaches morality like you're some kind of jerk

You gotta fight, for your right,
to be a Naaaaaaaaaaaaaaazi

Pitman caught you postin' and he said "NO WAY!"
That hypocrite posts two dozen polls a day!
Man living under Pitrule is such a drag
Now Pitman threw away your best Richard Landwehr mag (Busted)

You gotta fight, for your right,
to be a Naaaaaaaaaaaaaaazi

You gotta fight

Don't step outta this house if that's the sheet you're gonna wear!
Burning crosses again? DON'T YOU DARE!!
Pitman busted in and said "IS THAT A DAVID IRVING BOOK?"
Aww, Pitman you're just jealous, the man's not a crook!

You gotta fight, for your right,
to be a Naaaaaaaaaaaaaaazi

You gotta fight, for your right,
to be a Naaaaaaaaaaaaaaazi

Naaaaaaaaaaaaaaazi!

Naaaaaaaaaaaaaaazi!

Somebody rep this man, please?

 

[Vinnie]

I tried, god knows I tried...

 

[AZslim]

Diamond David Lee Tater

I'm just an internet troll and everywhere I go
People know the part I'm playing
Posting in every thread, b!tching about libs
Ooh, what they're saying

There would come a day when FOX will pass away
What will they say about me
When the end comes I know
They say "He was just an internet troll"
Life goes on without me

I'm just an internet troll and everywhere I go
People know the part I'm playing
Posting in every thread, b!tching about libs
Ooh, what they're saying

There would come a day when FOX will pass away
What will they say about me
When the end comes I know
They say "He was just an internet troll"
Life goes on without me

Cuz I ain't got nobody
Nobody cares for me, nobody, nobody cares for me
I'm so sad and lonely
Sad and lonely, sad and lonely
Won't some forum come and take a chance with me
Cuz I ain't so bad
Sad and lonesome all the time
Even on the beat, on the, on the beat
I ain't got nobody
Nobody cares for me, nobody, nobody

Really ain't got nobody, sad and lonesome
Scrote need love

I, I, I, ain't got nobody
Nobody, nobody cares for me, nobody, nobody
I'm so sad and lonely, sad and lonely
Won't some forum come and take a chance with me
Cuz I ain't so bad
Really want that Pitman, little loving Pitman all the time
Even on the beat, cherry, cherry on the beat
Need a Starter Kit
Feeling sick
Got nobody, no, nobody, nobody
Nobody, nobody, no one, no one

Strawman, hypocrite, hypocrite
Getting IFT, got to see the math
Over there, nobody, got no one, nobody
Nobody, nobody, nobody
Nobody, nobody cares for me

This gets my vote.:bounce:

 

[Vinnie]

Got myself a
Shoutin' bawlin'
And low crawlin'
Broken squad

Got to do my best to reach them
And retreive the
Broken squad

Got a rally phase and that is
Where I'll try to
Bring them back

Cause they're my one and only now remaining
Broken squad

Take a look at their route
It's clear
If you don't believe what I say
Just string it
Los 'em up if you want
But not adjacent unit
Will cause them to flee

Cause they're my one and only non-elr'd
Broken squad.

 

[Psycho]

With apologies to Paul Rodgers & Bad Co.:

Scrollin' thru Gamesquad,
Wondering where this thread is leading,
Readin' on, to the bitter end,
Finding out along the way,
What it takes to keep libtards bïtching,
You should know how it feels, my friend,

Ooh, I want you to pay,
Ooh, you're so gay,

I'm ready to troll,
Oh libtard, I'm ready to troll,
Ready to troll,
Oh libtard, I'm ready to troll, yeah,
Oh, for the libs hate,

Now I'm on my meds again,
Better things are bound to happen,
As long as I don't end up gay,
Many scrotes and many tears,
Spelling was hard, but I won't change,
You should know that I am afraid, ooh,

Ooh, I want you to pay,
Ooh, you're so gay,

I'm ready to troll,
Oh libtard, I'm ready to troll,
Ready to troll,
Oh libtard, I'm ready to troll, mmm,
Oh, I'm ready to troll,
Hey, hey,
I'm ready for the libs hate,

Ooh, I want you to pay,
Ooh, you're so gay,

I'm ready to troll,
Oh libtard, I'm ready to troll,
Ready to troll,
Oh libtard, I'm ready to troll,
Ready to troll,
Oh libtard, I'm ready to troll,
Ready to troll,
Oh libtard, I'm ready for the libs hate,
Ahh, ahh, ahh,
Whoa, oh, whoa, oh,
I'm ready for the libs hate,
Oh libtard,
Mmm