Confessions
1) Nazi/Confederate/French etc army nuts. Their army can/should never be beaten.
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I can relate to this type of player, in a weird sort of way. When I'm playing a Poland '39, Chancellorsville, or Austerlitz game, running the army that won historically, I like to feel I have an advantage in the game. And if I blow that advantage and lose, it comes as a shock. I kinda like being the mind behind the juggernaut; it saves me from having to think so hard.
Actually, I really was meaning to say that I hate playing against people who are so enamored with their particular army that if it loses (i.e you beat him) the game must be wrong.
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2) Rules lawyers. "First we kill all the lawyers..."
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I dislike the unscrupulous rules lawyers--the ones who dig up loopholes that give them a competitive edge
That's the kind of lawyers I'm talking about - the crooked ones. I really have nothing against people looking up rules to win. That's the point of having rules in the first place.
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3) Morons. Men just too stupid to be seen neat a wargame, much less playing one. Even worse when combined with...
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What about those who misspell "near"? Personally, I have a lot of patience for "morons." I enjoy teaching, and I breathe a sigh of relief when I realize the competition will be easy enough for even me to handle.
I never said I wasn't a moron, I just said I didn't like playing against them.
And I never said I didn't like teaching new players. I just really hate playing against people who obviously don't belong near a serious wargame. I've seen a few of them & it's not a pretty sight.
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4) Know it alls. People who think they know everything annoy those of us who do.
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I guess I like learning as well as teaching, so I have a lot of patience with windbags too. Quite often they do know things that I don't know.
Once again, maybe my taste for a pithy sentence gets me in trouble. I have nothing against experts or even windbags. I have been guilty of both charges at times. I just really dislike know-it-alls/windbags who really don't know much and/or have really stupid opinions....Like one guy who went on and on about why and how Patton should have invaded Russia after Germany surrendered, etc.
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5) Idealogues, including but not limited to Nazis,rascists,
communists, religious fanatics, and conspiracy theorists.
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Somehow I never run into wargamers of this ilk. Outside of wargaming, lots of people I know would fit this category. Depending on how strict your standards of "normalcy" are, I myself might be considered a religious fanatic or conspiracy theorist--but it'll never come out over a wargame. Why should it?
You're lucky. I've run up against all of them at one point ao another over the last 30 years of wargaming. And I don't consider somebody with "unorthodox" opinions a bad opponent, just people who can't keep their mouths shut about it.
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6) One Game Guys. Gamers whose lives revolve around one game/system/company. ASL, World in Flames, Europa, Axis & Allies, etc. Get a life. Or a new game.
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Ouch! Now you're really hitting close to home. All my wargaming life (over three decades) I've been on a quest for the perfect wargame. Each time I've bought a new game, I had fond hopes that it'd turn out to be my one game for life--a game so good I'd never need consider buying another. Alas, each and every one so far has come up short. And I've ended up feeling a lot like Don Quixote.
Well, Don, keep looking. All games have their plusses and minuses, and none are more than a rather subjective model of how wars are really fought. That having been said, the same holds true for books, and movies, and documentries, etc.
Sometimes the quest for the perfect wargame leads to just plain silliness, like turning a perfectly decent game like Squad Leader or World in Flames into a colossally self-indulgent duluxe master players sixth edition.
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7) Redesigners. Those who can't play design. Those who can't design redesign.
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Guilty again. This is tied in with #6 above. When I'm into a game that's great but not perfect, I proceed to house-rule it in hopes of making it into what it should have been in the first place. Unfortunately, I then realize I'm the only person in the world who plays by the rules I've written--and that's a lonely, miserable feeling. So I never play that game again.
I think every player had devised a house rule or two. My peeve is against guys that constantly harp about how they could have done better. If you think you can do better, then do it - don't talk about it. For the record, I'm as guilty of this as anybody. "He who is without flaw cast the first counter..."
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9) Liars/cheats/thieves
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Never ran into any of these in wargaming circles.
I have. Trust me, they're a pain to play with, even if they are good friends. Back in my Navy days I had a very close friend who lied and stole like crazy.
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10) Slooooooooow gamers
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These guys do test my patience--but I still have a pretty high tolerance. And depending on your standards, I may be a slow gamer myself. I always used to be shocked by the estimated playing times given in the General's "Reader Buyer's Guide," because I'd never finish a game in that little time! I used to play a lot of SL/ASL, and I timed myself a few times: I averaged about 20 minutes per player-turn. How anybody could finish a ten-turn scenario in an hour or two was beyond me.
Warfare isn't pretty, and wargaming shouldn't really be either. It's not chess, either. Fog of war, confusion, and mistakes should play a part in gaming just like they play a major part in real war. I really have little interest in gamers who don't appreciate this.
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11) Trivia freaks
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Same as know-it-alls to me, except that what they know is sometimes a little less interesting.
It is. sorry.
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12) Angry, loud, paranoid, or self righteous players
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I've rarely encountered these. When I do, I give them their space and let them do their own thing.
I've seen them & I stay the hell away from them.
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13) Excessively competitive gamers and those looking for "easy Kills"
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Finally--one that I can agree wholeheartedly with! I've met gamers who take a game like ASL or A3R and mentally strip it of all its "chrome," then act like they're playing poker or chess or something--at a tournament, for high stakes. They glare at anybody who brings up the history behind the game, because they consider that irrelevant. And they'll scratch and claw for every tactical or strategic edge they can get, even using psychological ploys to undermine their opponent(s).
If a wargame were nothing but an elaborate chess variant with dice, I'd just stick to chess instead. To me, the whole joy of wargaming has to do with vicariously experiencing a slice of military history (or fiction) come to life on the tabletop.
Finally we agree on something!
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Mike