Friday the 13th Jokes.....

witchbottles

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Zombies.... gives a whole new meaning to the term "Fast Food".

:D

its today - let's hear 'em!!!!
 
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My first adult girlfriend was really , reeereaaaaaaaally beautiful. I first met her on a sunny day, in a park. She was sitting under the shade of a tree, reading a book. I was dazzled by her beauty and walked over to her and introduced myself and then asked if she would like to join me for a stroll around the park. She said, " yes "............I found her to be sweet, kind-hearted, with a lovely smile.

After 15 minutes.......I knew I wanted to marry her and spend the rest of my life with her..........

After half an hour.....I totally gave up the idea of robbing her purse......:)
 

witchbottles

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What is confidence?
A US Marine walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman.
He gives her a quick glance then casually looks at his new Apple watch for a moment.
The woman notices this and asks, "Is your date running late?"
"No," he replies, "just got this state-of-the-art Apple watch, and I was just testing it."
The intrigued woman says, "A state-of-the-art watch? What's so special about it?"
He says, "It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically."
The lady says, "What's it telling you now?"
"Well, it says you're not wearing any panties."
The woman giggles and replies, "Well it must be broken because I am wearing panties!"
The Marine smirks, taps his watch and says, "Darn thing's an hour fast."
And that, my friends.......is Confidence!
 

bendizoid

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This joke is not about Fri the 13th, who cares, it's Jimmy Stewart:

It's all in the delivery, lol.
 
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