Chuck Norris ASL jokes

[Old Noob]

Chuck Norris does not need an eASLRB. He knows every rule by heart.

 

[Gordon]

Chuck Norris doesn't need an eASLRB. He MAKES the rules.

 

[von Marwitz]

Chuck Norris has renamed the game: It is no longer named ASL but just L. L for Leader. It is a game about him.

von Marwitz

 

[Craig Benn]

This thread has been done before....

The rules concentrate on what Chuck Norris allows.
Chuck Norris does MMC overruns.
Chuck Norris randomly selects you.
No vehicle can VBM freeze Chuck Norris because his steely gaze prevents it.
Chuck Norris is not subject to TPBF selection limits because his fire is quadrupled.
Chuck Norris never checks LOS because the thread is too frightened to go into his hex.

 

[Uncle_Duke]

AFVs attempting to overrun Chuck Norris have to make a PCNOTC.

 

[Old Noob]

Chuck Norris does not trip Booby Traps. They automatically self disarm while he is near.
Chuck Norris does not suffer from Desperation Morale. He only gets a little concerned from enemy fire.
Chuck Norris does not worry about Allied Troops. They immediately do what he wants them to do.
Chuck Norris does not lose Concealment. He attacks so quickly, the enemy doesn't see him move.
Chuck Norris does not use Rate of fire. He hits his target properly the first time.
Chuck Norris does not need to Advance against Difficult Terrain. He traverses all types of terrain effortlessly.

 

[Old Noob]

Chuck Norris does not Bail Out of an AFV. He tuck rolls when he dismounts.

 

[jyoung]

Chuck Norris does not lose Concealment. He attacks so quickly, the enemy doesn't see him move.

And yet, Chuck Norris is automatically Known to all enemy units and none may rout towards him.

 

[Fiedler]

Chuck Norris does not trip Booby Traps. They automatically self disarm while he is near.
Chuck Norris does not suffer from Desperation Morale. He only gets a little concerned from enemy fire.
Chuck Norris does not worry about Allied Troops. They immediately do what he wants them to do.
Chuck Norris does not lose Concealment. He attacks so quickly, the enemy doesn't see him move.
Chuck Norris does not use Rate of fire. He hits his target properly the first time.
Chuck Norris does not need to Advance against Difficult Terrain. He traverses all types of terrain effortlessly.

Chuck Norris does not suffer from Desperation Morale. The enemy gets DM as Chuck Norris may notice their fire,

 

[bendizoid]

Chuck Norris farts disgusting poison gas.

 

[von Marwitz]

Chuck Norris farts disgusting poison gas.

I thought it were your dog...

von Marwitz

 

[Actionjick]

I thought it were your dog...

von Marwitz

I'm assuming Hasso is too well trained to ever do such a thing.

 

[Old Noob]

All depends on what the dog is fed!

 

[Actionjick]

All depends on what the dog is fed!

As far as Hasso goes it's anything he wants!

 

[von Marwitz]

I'm assuming Hasso is too well trained to ever do such a thing.

Your guess is correct. Albeit sometimes Russians are hard to digest. Bytimes Hasso hicks up a bone or two, though.

von Marwitz

 

[von Marwitz]

All depends on what the dog is fed!

Hasso is a dog with an attitude. He behaves. His way.

von Marwitz

 

[Old Noob]

Chuck Norris does not play ASL dog scenarios. He retrains them to be playable.

 

[Old Noob]

Chuck Norris does not suffer from FOBA. He catches them in mid-air and sets them down on the floor.

 

[Actionjick]

Chuck Norris does not suffer from FOBA. He catches them in mid-air and sets them down on the floor.

The kitties are quite happy with his gentle handling of their kin.

Chuck Norris doesn't have to scoop his cat's litter boxes. His cats all use the neighbor's flower beds and his neighbors don't complain.

 

[Old Noob]

Chucj Norris does not malfunction his SW. He loves it too much to break it.