ASL-themed song parodies

Bad Dice

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Ladies and Gents;

My friend Dennis and I have and continue to generate ASL-related parodies of otherwise-familiar songs. I seem to recall that once upon a time there was a thread in this collection of fora in that regard, but it's either disappeared or I'm not smart enough to resurrect it. As may be, in the spirit of resurrection:

MY FAVORITE ASL THINGS

(Sung to the tune of My Favorite Things)


Half-Squads and DCs and Human Wave Charges

Minefields and Wire and Rolling Barrages

Those cool Russian tanks in Awakening of Spring

These are my favorite ASL things



Fifty-cal MGs and Fanatic Germans

Flamethrowers, PF, and Firefly Shermans

The smile to my face that a snake eyes' roll brings

These are my favorite ASL things



Playing with Parachutes, landing in Gliders

Killing a tank and then killing its Riders

Playing the Russians when playing The Ring

These are my favorite ASL things



When my squads break

And my guns malf

And I'm rolling bad

I think of my favorite ASL things

And then I don't feel

So bad...


Picture Julie Andrews singing that.

BD
 

Sand Bar Bill

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Green Acres...

The Ardennes is the place to be
Farm fighting is the life for me
Lines of sight spreading out so far and wide
Keep block busting, just give me that countryside

Stalingrad is where I'd rather be
I get allergic smelling WP
I just adore a rooftop view
Darling I love you but give me a BT-2

...Foxholes!
...Breeched walls!
...Foggy air!
...Red Square!

You are my opponent.
Goodbye Soviet components.
The Ardennes we are there!
 

Bad Dice

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I STILL HAVEN'T KILLED

THAT DAMNED PANZER IV


(Sung to the tune of 'Still Haven't Found

What I'm Looking For', by U2)



I have fired from a standstill

I have fired on the move

Trying to hit that tank

Trying to hit that tank

I have used

Special Ammo

I've depleted APCR

APCR

Trying to hit that tank



Chorus

And I still haven't killed that damned Panzer IV

And I still haven't killed that damned Panzer IV



I have shot at Point Blank Range

I have gone Crew Exposed

I have Acquired

And Intensive-Fired



I have hit, and rolled box-cars

I have Shocked him, but he Recovered

I had him in my sights

I'm putting up a fight



Chorus

But I still haven't killed that damned Panzer IV

But I still haven't killed that damned Panzer IV



I shot again the next Prep Fire Phase

And of course I Malfed my Gun

I Malfed my Gun

But yes I'm still tryin'



Two squads moved in

With Bazookas

They both shot and

They both missed

They both missed

I don't believe it...



Chorus

But I'll still try to kill that damned Panzer IV

But I'll still try to kill that damned Panzer IV

But I'll still try to kill that damned Panzer IV

But I'll still try to kill that damned Panzer IV


BD
 

bendizoid

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Fish wrote one to love potion #9 but it was “and then I rolled a nine.”
 

Old Noob

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The scenario will be finished, tomorrow, tomorrow, bet your bottom dollar it's tomorrow!
 

Tooz

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Fun thread! Get these songs (with music) uploaded to Youtube! Good ASL playing background music?
I have been using WWII movie soundtracks lately.
 

Bad Dice

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I'M NOT GONNA

MAKE IT




(Sung to the tune of 'We're Not Gonna Take It', by Dee Snider)




I'm not gonna make

No, I'm not gonna make it

I won't get enough guys off the board



I have to exit five tanks

Each with functioning MA

I have to exit 12 points of Personnel, too

I got smacked hard in Turn 3

By Mines and Artillery

Most of my guys broke, or were Reduced



Chorus

I'm not gonna make

No, I'm not gonna make it

I won't get enough guys off the board



Two tanks, they Bogged on Wire

And then next turn they Mired

Then an ATG got Rate, and rolled a '2'

Two Stukas later flew up

Two more of my tanks brewed up

I'm doing my best, but that won't do



Chorus



oh......

oh......

I checked (YEAH!)

The VC (YEAH!)

It's all (YEAH!)

Over for me....



I'm not gonna make

No, I'm not gonna make it

I won't get enough guys off the board



I'm not gonna make

No, I'm not gonna make it

I won't get enough guys off the board

Not today!



oh.......

oh......

This one's (YEAH!)

Not easy (YEAH!)

We'll switch (YEAH!)

You'll see...



I'm not gonna make

No, I'm not gonna make it

I won't get enough guys off the board



I'm not gonna make, Damn!

No, I'm not gonna make it

I won't get enough guys off the board



Just not gonna get there

I'm not gonna make it

God Damn

No, I'm not gonna make it

My guys are worthless and weak

I won't get enough guys off the board

Two squads left out of twenty

I'm not gonna make it

Bad dice, I guess

No, I'm not gonna make it

Or maybe the IIFT

I won't get enough guys off the board




BD
 

FourDeuceMF

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RIDERS ON THE StuG
(sung to the tune of 'Riders on the Storm' by The Doors)

Riders on the StuG
Riders on the StuG
Bold Wehrmacht PRC
Immune to PTC
One-quartered Firepower
At 15 clicks an hour
Riders on the StuG

There's a Sherman in the trees
Your ass is hangin' in the breeze
No winning Gun Duel fight
He's got you dead to rights
If he rolls a DR '5'
Sweet AFV will die
Bailout NMC, yeah

Man, you gotta love your luck
Man, you gotta love your luck
'Boxcars' from his hand
Now his Gun is jammed
By chance you will depend
Your risk will never end
Gotta love your luck, yeah

Riders on the StuG
Riders on the StuG
Bold Wehrmacht PRC
Immune to PTC
One-quartered Firepower
At 15 clicks an hour
Riders on the StuG

Riders on the StuG
Riders on the StuG
Riders on the StuG
Riders on the StuG
Riders on the StuG

(with apologies to Jim Morrison...)
 
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thedrake

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I did have one written for "Sturmwind on the Sopot" , to the tune of Judas Priest's "Living After Midnight". Have to see if still have it.
 
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