ASL Limericks

[Michael Dorosh]

Something just occurring and only to me
Is the tale of the I I F T
Introduced as a joke
We all suddenly woke
And found it in the latest R B.

 

[Michael Dorosh]

A scenario is a story in telling
And if you win then your head can start swelling
But if you happen to lose
Then the story you choose
Is that your men went and suffered a Shelling.

 

[Michael Dorosh]

If it’s complexity and rules you adore
The starter kit you will surely abhor
No snipers, no walls,
No arty, Low Crawls,
All in all you will find it a bore

 

[Michael Dorosh]

“It’s game day” friend Jimmy did holler
But his set up was a bit of a crawler
When his wife graced the room
Yelling “dinner time soon”
The cry came from me: Hey! Jim Stall ‘er!

 

[Michael Dorosh]

Design a new game? Well, John Hill could
And publishing that game? Well, Tom Shaw should
But to expand the old rules
For the rest of us fools
Can there be any doubt that Don Greenwood?

 

[Michael Dorosh]

It’s tales out of school they are tellin
When they brag MMP has great spellin
But for paragraph size
What will win the big prize
Is anything written by Kelln.

 

[igycrctl]

My precision dice, as a rule,
Are to myself very cruel.
On morale, they roll high
So my units always die,
And I end up looking a fool.

 

[Old Noob]

O! That accursed virus called COVID-19
ravaging 2020's ASL tournament scene
but currently VASL is in first place
as opposed to gaming face-to-face
Pity, since good playing should be seen.

 

[jyoung]

Is a haiku instead of a limerick ok? "The Commissar":

Pick up the rifle
of the man in front of you.
Forward, tovarisch!

 

[von Marwitz]

A King Tiger stood there in the mud.
Blazing some Shermans he would.
The ground was sogged.
The Tiger bogged.
The attack was nipped in the bud.

von Marwitz

 

[von Marwitz]

A setup instruction had Panji.
Their rules are more complex than Kanji.
Could have been a great game.
But the fuss is insane.
I recoiled like a cord made for bungee.

von Marwitz

 

[von Marwitz]

There was a 'down 2' DRM.
Often more worth than a gem.
A stack was splattered.
The attack shattered.
Overlooked LOS and mayhem.

von Marwitz

 

[von Marwitz]

There once was a vicious 10-3.
Who advanced to attack in CC.
An ambush to fix.
Versus 1 he rolled 6.
Hit by 'snakes' then dying was he.

von Marwitz

 

[von Marwitz]

Get hold of a Building thou must.
One Prep Fire and Movement thou hast.
A Critical Hit solves your trouble.
But then it is Falling Rubble
That buries your win in the dust.

von Marwitz

 

[jyoung]

The smoke from my arty conceals
The panzerschreck hot on your heels
to take out the tank
that ties up my flank.
Prepare to say bye to your wheels!

 

[Michael Dorosh]

bumping for J.R. Tracy

 

[Cpl Uhl]

Thanks!

C1.23
The FFE not yet Converted,
My Observer became quite perverted.
He laid himself prone,
And took the Field Phone,
And into his ass it inserted.

 

[Cpl Uhl]

Russian Vehicle Notes
They say the T-60’s a runt,
And the Suka’s no good for the hunt.
The Russian Tank Corps
Loves the T-34,
And they think that Joe Stalin’s a c***.

 

[Old Noob]

There was a young player from Spitzbergen,
who started out as an ASL virgin,
by constantly taking many a journey,
and playing each and every tourney,
his experience and luck commenced converging.

 

[Actionjick]

There once was a grognard named Old Noob
Who played ASL, rarely watched the tube.
He wisely dropped cable, as soon as he was able
And now uses his flat screen as a game table.