ASL is like porn

voyager77

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The stories always seem to start out the same as Penthouse Forum Letters...” I never thought this would happen to me....” My 6+1 leader went beserk picked up a FT and a DC rolled 3 snakes in a row... Chime in with your stories in either case!
 

RandyT0001

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Last year at ASLOK, after losing a game, I wondered out of the room. As I leaned against the wall pondering my loss, a beautiful brunette with blonde highlights touched me on the shoulder and asked, "Did you exit that room?" pointing towards the doorway.

"Yes," I said.

"Well, let me help you," she said as she unzipped my pants.

I was startled to say the least, as her hand reached in groping until she pulls it out.

"Tweezers. Why would you need this?" she asks as she reaches again and begins to feel around once more.

I feel dazed and shocked by this public display in the hall, just outside the door to the main tournament.

Then she exclaims, "Now I know what you use the tweezers for!" as she pulls out the suction pen.
 

Justiciar

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Last year at ASLOK, after losing a game, I wondered out of the room. As I leaned against the wall pondering my loss, a beautiful brunette with blonde highlights touched me on the shoulder and asked, "Did you exit that room?" pointing towards the doorway.

"Yes," I said.

"Well, let me help you," she said as she unzipped my pants.

I was startled to say the least, as her hand reached in groping until she pulls it out.

"Tweezers. Why would you need this?" she asks as she reaches again and begins to feel around once more.

I feel dazed and shocked by this public display in the hall, just outside the door to the main tournament.

Then she exclaims, "Now I know what you use the tweezers for!" as she pulls out the suction pen.
You missed a trick (so to speak) you respond..... "no, no, wait... this is all to properly deploy a nahverteidigungswaffe, errr maybe you know it better as a snoogiewoofer????.... surely you know its effect?...quite pleasing...done right....don't you think?"
 

kcole4001

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So I'm prep firing, and my wife says "Ooohhh, I love it when you roll those Battledice...can I use them?"
I say "Here, try these, they're the new 16mm British pair"
She says "They feel so good in my hand"
I say"Uhhh...OK. Now for some smoke"
She say "Sorry love, you've already prep fired, no smoke"
Then I wake up....it seemed so real....
 

Jacometti

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ASL is not like porn at all, actually more like the opposite.

It is unwatchable, but great fun if you do it yourself.
 

RandyT0001

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Either way, I'm guilty of self-abuse. :facepalm:
 
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