AAR - Loonies And Leicesters - SP116

Major Issues

Elder Member
Joined
Apr 27, 2018
Messages
325
Reaction score
1,102
Location
Secane, PA
First name
Vince
Country
llUnited States
I took some time off from calculating how many 8-0s could dance on the head of a pin to play a game with Rockford. He had picked a new one, but I thought it looked like a dog. He even offered to let me pick sides, so I could have had the favored side, kicked butt, then said “I told you so.” But we all know that I am a bigger man than that. Also, I was feeling sorry for him, what with his venereal disease, the paternity suit, and the upcoming federal indictment.

As an alternative, I suggested Loonies and Leicesters, for the simple reason that it was the most politically incorrect scenario I could find.

For those of you unfamiliar with this one, it’s a standard British vs. German, Belgium 1944, kill stuff and take buildings scenario. The catch is that there are escaped mental patients wandering around the battlefield.

8037

Each side gets an opportunity to advance half of them in their player turn. They act as hindrances, and should you shoot them, the other side gets a point. The patients are represented by prisoner HSs, with the lovely Doreen McEvoy, in her screen debut, as Nurse Ramsteen.
8038

Rockford had the Germans. I had the British. No one had the Loonies.
8053

Only the StuH was set up in the Asylum.

8052

I thought that this was loco. Almost all the Germans were set up far to the west or south of the victory buildings. Not for the first time, I began to doubt Rockford’s sanity. Was he Tony Stark raving mad???

My two Shermans came in on the SW corner and set up some distance away. I wanted to use them to block or hinder the movement of three of his squads back towards the victory buildings. My infantry entered on the west edge. Half came in on the south side of the east-west road, with no issues. Due to mental failings, I screwed up my setup for those troops on the north side of the road. In order to move my stack of halfwitted madmen adjacent to one of his squads, I now had to move as a stack. But I did have a 9-1 leader, and it was a stone building, so it’s not totally batshit crazy.

8044

His 8+2 shot gets a 1MC. 9-1 breaks. 458 breaks. One 457 pins. The other 457 passes, but rolls a sniper. The sniper roll is a “1”. And finds my 9-1 and another squad. For which he rolls another “1”. And my remaining good squad fails his LLMC. So half a turn into the game, I have lost one of my two leaders, and have three squads broken with no leader near them. Boy, did I feel like a gormless twit.

8040

An advancing fire shot breaks one of his concealed squads. Better yet, they lose their marbles and ELR to a conscript. On my left, my PIAT squad, in a move that can only be described as ‘bonkers’, advances into CC with a 467. We end up in a confused melee.

8048

German 1, Rockford shoots at his own troops in the Melee. Is he deranged??? Luckily for both of us, nothing happens. His StuH gets a hit on two of my squads in a building. Both break, and turn into blithering idiots. His PSK takes a shot at a Sherman four hexes away. He hits and burns it. By now, I am foaming at the mouth.

In what could most charitably be described as a half-witted move, he advances his 8-1 and a MMG-toting HS into the street in LOS of my Sherman. Like his OBA cards, I feel he is short of a full deck. In another demented move, he reinforces the Melee with a LMG-toting 468. The Melee continues.

And what of the Loonies throughout all this? I would advance them into the street to give his shots a hindrance. He would advance them back into building hexes he occupied, so if I fired in, I would hit them too. The subject of Patient’s Rights did not come up.

British 2, my Sherman blasts away at his nutty guys in the street. Miss with both the gun and MGs. In a lapse of sanity, I Intensive Fire. I get a hit, the 8-1 breaks and ELRs, the 237 also breaks and ELRs. Who’s crazy now?!!!!!!

My 8-1 runs back to try to bring back some of my senseless broken troops. A newly rallied 458 breaks AGAIN, but I am able to reinforce the Melee with a squad and a hero. In CC, I reduce his 468, he does nothing.

German 2, a shot to finish off his broken 8-0 and conscript HS goes awry when the leader goes mad, battle hardens back to a 8-1, and goes Heroic. The HS dies, but the Hero, like a maniac, picks up the MMG and starts blasting everything in sight.

As he pulled back his southern units, I had a shot from the Sherman at a 467 in open ground as he exited the gully. Turn the turret, fire, miss. I Intensive Fire, needing an “8” to hit. Private Aiyes puts the shell in backwards, I roll a “10” and break the gun. What an imbecilic move.

In Melee, he loses his HS, while I lose nothing.

British 3, my Sherman crosses the gully and successfully uses his sD in the street. Rockford loses his PSK on another 4 range shot. I finally win the Melee, with no losses.

German 3, Rockford rallies his broken 436 with snakes, and gets a hero.

British 4, my Sherman, in a daft move, overruns his Heroic 8-1. To prove that I’m not of totally unsound mind, I remain in Motion to reduce chances of a successful PF. He did make a couple attempts. One 458 dashes across to end up adjacent to the Heroic 8-1. Another 458 tries to run across, but is broken by his Hero, which was the only unit with a possible shot. I jump the Heroic 8-1 for CC, but he eludes me, and we end up in Melee. On the right, I get a couple squads next to his 9-1, 436, hero stack behind the wall. I break his 436, and they are able to rout back to the Asylum with the 9-1.

8049

German 4, the StuH breaks my guys in the one victory hex I have, but also eliminates some Loonies, giving me a point.
8050

Rockford decides to concede the one victory building and pull his troops in it back to the Asylum. Proving that I am not totally out to lunch, I had cleared the street of Loonies in case he tried this. The 467 made it back, the 237 was gunned down. He did leave the Hero in the building.

In the Melee with the Heroic 8-1, Rockford rolls a ‘12’. Proving that I am of unsound mind, I decide to withdraw the squad from the Melee and move him adjacent to the Asylum. He has a 9-1 and 467 right next to me, but if I can break them in Prep, or take them out in CC, I can get points. My Sherman eliminates the Heroic 8-1 in CC.

British 5, last turn. My Prep against his 9-1 does nothing. A mad charge back into the one victory building draws another hit from his StuH, but one squad passes. I move my Hero next to his 9-1 to help out in the upcoming CC.

Then, DISASTER!!! When shooting from the 9-1 and squad at my 458, he rolls a ‘3’ for a KIA!!! He gets another two VPs!

I take a desperate PIAT shot at the StuH. I need snake eyes; I roll a ‘3’.

I do take out his Hero and take another victory hex, but the loss of the squad sent me over the edge. Rockford wins, 11 points to 10!!! Incoherent with rage, I rip out a water fountain, throw it through a window, and stomp off into the night. Only several sessions of shock therapy will make me forget the painful memories of this loss.


“This shit practically writes itself!!!”
8051
  • Bill Shakespeare
 

Major Issues

Elder Member
Joined
Apr 27, 2018
Messages
325
Reaction score
1,102
Location
Secane, PA
First name
Vince
Country
llUnited States
Without overstacking? Because with overstacking, it's infinite if you have an infinite number of turns.

JR
Now you understand why this is taking me so long.

That, and the fact that Perry has been strangely silent on this topic. MMP Conspiracy??? YOU decide!!!!!!
 

Gordon

Forum Guru
Joined
Apr 6, 2017
Messages
2,491
Reaction score
2,942
Country
llUnited States
Since cardboard has mass, eventually they'll create a black hole/singularity.
 
Top