AAR - AP36 - Take A Bath

Major Issues

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"LISSEN UP, YOU MAGGOTS!!! TODAY YOUR OLD PAL SERGEANT DIAL IS GOING TO BE GIVING YOU A LESSON ON PERSONAL HYGIENE!!! BECAUSE, JUDGING FROM THE STENCH COMING OFF OF YOU, YER MOMMAS DIDN'T TEACH YOU HOW TO WASH YER BALLS!!! I CAN FIND YOU BY FOLLOWING THE TRAIL OF DEAD FLIES!!! NO WONDER YOU PATHETIC LOSERS CAN'T GET LAID!!! EVEN THE SKANKY HOS YOU ASSOCIATE WITH HAVE SOME STANDARDS!!! COMPANY L, YOU SMELL!!!"

Played Take A Bath vs. Walt Harrar, with him as the Germans. Bocage country, all Germans HIP.

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Not that kind of hip! Actually, most of them were conscripts, so they couldn't look cool if they tried.

Americans have a bunch of tanks and a few squads in halftracks. Looking for exit points, as long as the Germans don't get too many CVPs.

Americans have some time, and two Shermans with Culins, but there are so many bocage fields, it would be impossible to avoid the road by trying to go cross country. My bold plan was to put everyone CE, and charge down the road with the light tanks. If they drew fire, the HTs would pull up and unload. No one fired on me during the movement phase, but I unloaded the HTs anyway. Walt waited until final fire to open up. His HT nailed two empty HTs, then broke both the MA and the MG on consecutive shots. Should have been an easy kill in CC, but I had two 666s and two 346s all fail their PAATCs. A Sherman dealt with him the next turn.

I found a HS by accident when I drove into his orchard hex with a light tank. He missed his PF shot, so I parked on top of him, looking for an easy kill in CC. He rolled snake eyes and created an 8-1. I took revenge the next turn with a 3:1 CC.

There was a tense duel between a halftrack and a 436 at one hex range. I would take a shot at 8+1 and miss, he would try for a PF and roll a 6. This went on for a couple turns before I finally broke him.

The PSK nailed one vehicle when it popped up, but then X'ed out on its second shot. The remaining HIP guys either missed their PF shots or, more commonly, couldn't find one. I think Walt got 4 PF shots the entire game. Once found, they crumbled under fire. When his last HIP squad was revealed and came up empty, he conceded.

I lost 3 HTs and 2 light tanks, and immobilized a Sherman using ESB. So I still had a lot of points I could get off. If Walt didn't have such bad luck, he would have gotten several more vehicles to make it close. Walt liked the scenario; I was not as impressed. It's not even a bug hunt - I found two HIP units by driving into their hexes, but everyone else turned up when they shot, (or tried to shoot) a PF. As the American, you just hope for a miss. I think a viable strategy for the Americans might be to play Santa Monica Freeway and just charge on down the road, blasting Molly Hatchet
and carelessly tossing Hershey wrappers and empty Kronenbourg bottles out of the hatches as they zoom by. It would make for a quick game. Would it make a fun game? Possibly, if you still have your Molly Hatchet 8-track. And lots of cold Kronenbourg.

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Roy

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Entertaining as usual! :clap:
 
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