1,001 things you never want to hear your DM say...

Dr Zaius

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Let's start a list.

1. "Since you were foolish enough to utter the name of Demogorgon, he suddenly appears before you! He doesn't look happy..."
 

JAMiAM

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3. Hey Joe! Did you bring your box of dice? I think I'm going to be a few dozen short for this battle...
 

Dr Zaius

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4. [sound of dice rolling from behind DM screen]

"Okay, everybody make a saving throw."
 

Aries

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1. Oops!

Sounds as thrilling as when you dentist says Oops! :)

Not really a statement, but when the DM rolls dice behind the screen and laughs. Wise DM's know to randomly throw dice for no reason at all all through the game though :)

2. Who's watch is it currently?

2.1 What's the current marching order?

2.2 Who specifically opens the door?

3. So do you put it on?
 

Palantir

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5. "I've been waiting for someone to roll that # for a long time..."
6. "Are you SURE that's what you want to do?"
7. "You should really be 10 levels higher for this encounter..."
8. "Since you decided to open that door you'll all going to need new player-character sheets in a minute."
 
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freightshaker

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8. (DM rolls dice for monster HP) What's 13 times 8?
9. (player rolls a 1 to hit) Who's standing beside you?
10. "as you reach the melee after your charge, Zama's fireball flys past your shoulder...."
 

Dr Zaius

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11. "As you enter the room you see an incredibly old man sitting in a rocking chair stroking a small kitten. No weapons of any kind are evident and he smiles at you warmly."

12. "No, I said Orcus has arrived, not Orcs!!"

13. "Well, maybe it wasn't a bag of holding after all..."
 
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17: "Adamantium Landslide, Everyone dies!"

18: "You hear a splashing sound from the basement..." (The investigators thought it was a shoggoth, (Actually it was a leaking water heater) panicked and threw two firebombs down the stairs which set the house on fire)
 

Widow Maker

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4. [sound of dice rolling from behind DM screen]

"Okay, everybody make a saving throw."
This is the one I think we've all heard in exactly the same words.

A few that might not be so common but I still remember years later:

Do you have it in your hands?

No you didn't pick it up when you escaped from the lair.

Now save for your items.

No. The way it works is if you put a portable hole in a bag of holding......
 

pward

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As he leafs throught the rulebook's spell listings, muttering, "no, that will kill you outright, same there, no hope of surviving this one, ah this will do nicely...."
 

Legion

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Playing Twilight 2000: GM says:
OK Mortar rounds are hitting your position... hmmm... lets just see what they are... Oh!
Ah... do any of you have any way of treating nerve-gas?
 

mr_clark

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IN my second D&D round at the beginning of summer, and my P&P RPG 'career'
And actually the GM didn't say that much.
me:"I attack the black clothed figure."
GM:"Allright, he had prepared for an attack in his round, he fires a small dart"
*the dices clatter*
Then the GM takes my caracter sheet and hands me a new one...
 
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