1,001 things you never want to hear your DM say...

Dr Zaius

Chief Defender of the Faith
Staff member
Administrator
Moderator
Joined
May 1, 2001
Messages
8,896
Reaction score
514
Location
The Forbidden Zone
First name
Don
Country
llUnited States
Let's start a list.

1. "Since you were foolish enough to utter the name of Demogorgon, he suddenly appears before you! He doesn't look happy..."
 

JAMiAM

TOAW III Project Manager
Joined
Aug 5, 2002
Messages
2,780
Reaction score
1
Location
Standing in the way
3. Hey Joe! Did you bring your box of dice? I think I'm going to be a few dozen short for this battle...
 

Dr Zaius

Chief Defender of the Faith
Staff member
Administrator
Moderator
Joined
May 1, 2001
Messages
8,896
Reaction score
514
Location
The Forbidden Zone
First name
Don
Country
llUnited States
4. [sound of dice rolling from behind DM screen]

"Okay, everybody make a saving throw."
 

Aries

Member
Joined
Dec 14, 2002
Messages
4,187
Reaction score
5
Location
Earth
Country
llCanada
1. Oops!

Sounds as thrilling as when you dentist says Oops! :)

Not really a statement, but when the DM rolls dice behind the screen and laughs. Wise DM's know to randomly throw dice for no reason at all all through the game though :)

2. Who's watch is it currently?

2.1 What's the current marching order?

2.2 Who specifically opens the door?

3. So do you put it on?
 

Palantir

Member #86
Joined
Aug 7, 2002
Messages
4,877
Reaction score
1,731
Location
The Heartland
Country
llUnited States
5. "I've been waiting for someone to roll that # for a long time..."
6. "Are you SURE that's what you want to do?"
7. "You should really be 10 levels higher for this encounter..."
8. "Since you decided to open that door you'll all going to need new player-character sheets in a minute."
 
Last edited:

freightshaker

Member
Joined
Aug 7, 2004
Messages
729
Reaction score
19
Location
Out on the road
8. (DM rolls dice for monster HP) What's 13 times 8?
9. (player rolls a 1 to hit) Who's standing beside you?
10. "as you reach the melee after your charge, Zama's fireball flys past your shoulder...."
 

Dr Zaius

Chief Defender of the Faith
Staff member
Administrator
Moderator
Joined
May 1, 2001
Messages
8,896
Reaction score
514
Location
The Forbidden Zone
First name
Don
Country
llUnited States
11. "As you enter the room you see an incredibly old man sitting in a rocking chair stroking a small kitten. No weapons of any kind are evident and he smiles at you warmly."

12. "No, I said Orcus has arrived, not Orcs!!"

13. "Well, maybe it wasn't a bag of holding after all..."
 

Dr Zaius

Chief Defender of the Faith
Staff member
Administrator
Moderator
Joined
May 1, 2001
Messages
8,896
Reaction score
514
Location
The Forbidden Zone
First name
Don
Country
llUnited States
16. "Tonight's adventure is titled 'Brothel of the Ogre King'".
 
Joined
Nov 7, 2004
Messages
377
Reaction score
0
Location
Far Northern CA
Country
llUnited States
17: "Adamantium Landslide, Everyone dies!"

18: "You hear a splashing sound from the basement..." (The investigators thought it was a shoggoth, (Actually it was a leaking water heater) panicked and threw two firebombs down the stairs which set the house on fire)
 

Widow Maker

Recruit
Joined
Oct 21, 2005
Messages
13
Reaction score
0
Location
Taglios
Country
llUnited States
4. [sound of dice rolling from behind DM screen]

"Okay, everybody make a saving throw."
This is the one I think we've all heard in exactly the same words.

A few that might not be so common but I still remember years later:

Do you have it in your hands?

No you didn't pick it up when you escaped from the lair.

Now save for your items.

No. The way it works is if you put a portable hole in a bag of holding......
 

pward

Member
Joined
Mar 21, 2005
Messages
4,055
Reaction score
86
Location
Springfield, IL
Country
llUnited States
As he leafs throught the rulebook's spell listings, muttering, "no, that will kill you outright, same there, no hope of surviving this one, ah this will do nicely...."
 

Legion

Member
Joined
May 3, 2004
Messages
1,427
Reaction score
9
Location
Picton (NSW)
Country
llAustralia
Playing Twilight 2000: GM says:
OK Mortar rounds are hitting your position... hmmm... lets just see what they are... Oh!
Ah... do any of you have any way of treating nerve-gas?
 

mr_clark

Member
Joined
Sep 22, 2003
Messages
1,007
Reaction score
2
Location
Berlin, Germany
Country
llGermany
IN my second D&D round at the beginning of summer, and my P&P RPG 'career'
And actually the GM didn't say that much.
me:"I attack the black clothed figure."
GM:"Allright, he had prepared for an attack in his round, he fires a small dart"
*the dices clatter*
Then the GM takes my caracter sheet and hands me a new one...
 
Top