Well, if everytime you play the first feeling is the frustration about the way you play it felt at the time it was not worth it. It is difficult to explain, it is not about winning as such. It is the way you feel about yourself after the game
Honestly I am my own worst enemy in this regard.
I decided to discuss your situation with Captain Bacchus and that discussion is ongoing.
If you think you are your own worst enemy regarding ASL there are two courses of action the Captain and I see available in you.
First is to negotiate a peace treaty with your enemy. Remember this will involve compromise, don't go for unconditional surrender.
Second is to analyze your enemie's strengths and weaknesses and figure the best way to exploit them to achieve your goal.
That brings us to the most important part of this intervention.
What is your goal? Determine this and you are well on your way to ASL contentment.
I don't know you but obviously you like ASL. You've played 743 published scenarios and playtested so you must have a good grasp of the system and as a playtester your opinion is valued. You went to ASLOk and were revitalized. What was It about that experience that negated the feeling of frustration you feel after finishing a scenario?
We'll offer our opinions and hopefully you are not offended as we mean well.
You seem to be an ASL perfectionist and sorry to say this is a goal that is unattainable. The game is too complex. 1985 was a long time ago and people who have played ASL that entire time still have not completely mastered or understand the system. Why should you think that you can master what they haven't?
I thought I was pretty hot stuff in the SL days until I met Fish. Fourteen straight ( well maybe not so straight ? ) losses later I realized I had a lot to learn. Then again so did Fish.
Don't expect perfection in your ASL playing. It seems as if the comraderie of ASLOk may be the key to solving your dilemma. Another piece of advice is just to relax and find happiness in the playing.
Really glad you enjoyed ASLOk and it kept you in the game.