Came across a post on Rant Lifestyle by Willis Patenaude about why he hates Game of Thrones, and felt moved to paraphrase it here. Couldn't have said it better myself. He nailed all the things that have troubled me for some time about this show:
1) Books overrated too - Verbose, long-winded, boring, and forget remembering characters -- they’ll either be killed or won’t return for another 500 pages after you've been introduced to 100 more.
2) It's Dungeons and Dragons on Steroids - It’s all violence, rape and Guantanamo Bay torture that people preach against in real life, but find titillating when they play it on HBO. Martin can’t decide who he hates/likes more, the men raping the women or the women who prostitute themselves for the men.
3) It's not really fantasy - You can’t just messily throw in a few dragons and have some undead walking snow people and call your garbage an epic fantasy. This stuff is like a bad allegory of the modern world at best or an insightful examination into how Martin views society at worst, which means he really hates you.
4) Cardboard characters - Not only is there an abundance of characters, they are also flat and one-dimensional. If you want character growth, you won’t find it here. Partly because they all die before they get that far, and partly because Martin has substituted character growth with just adding another character to fill the missing dimensions.
5) Tribalism - One aspect of the show that is particularly dangerous and troubling is its depiction of tribalism. It’s reminiscent of Twilight and the Hunger Games, making everyone pick a side or a team. It’s very militaristic and apparently no one in the GoT universe has ever heard of diplomacy. Instead, they settle all of their geo-political feuds with force, war and murder.
6) Winter is Never Coming - This is the biggest MacGuffin in the history of fiction. This is similar to people who claim the apocalypse is coming. At some point, you just start to role your eyes, laugh, and stare because they’re morons. Winter is never coming and when it does, who will be alive in the GoT universe to care?
7) Nothing Matters - Sure, it is not the same good vs. evil of Tolkien, but it’s not overly clever either. The characters accomplish nothing but sex and killing, and their motivations are perfunctorily mundane. It’s all power for powers sake, which is exasperatingly dull and dim-witted and not at all the intellectual geopolitical masterpiece it claims to be.
8) The Fans - Basically, if you don’t like this show, the rabid fans who might actually believe in dragons and look up to Joffrey as a role model call you an idiot, insult your intelligence and treat you like you’re scum. They are insufferable and intolerant to the opinions of people who don’t like a show that was obviously written for boys still passing through puberty.
9) It's Pointless - Better yet, it has one main point that it drives home every chance it gets. Everyone dies. You die, she dies, he dies, they die, and everyone gets to die. This show's success is a statement on our sex and death-obsessed culture, and that’s not a good thing.
10) Lazy Storytelling - There is a lot going on in GoT, but it’s not as dense or as complicated as pompous fans want you to believe. In actuality, it’s rather banal. The problem lies in the fact that the show and Martin rely on shock and awe to move the story. Death, sex, homosexuality, character overload, dragons, etc.
11) Everyone Dies - It’s that simple. Martin hates you and he hates people, so he kills them. Unless that character is a despicable person -- then he lets them live. Martin has a hard-on for villains and there is no room for actual nobility in his world, which isn’t a bad thing. But his insistence on murdering anyone who possesses even remotely good qualities in favor of keeping the vilest alive indicates a sad, grotesquely warped world view.
12) Nihilistic Propaganda - Martin appears to be an extremely bitter nihilist who doesn’t believe in anything and thinks moral principles are bunk. Life has no value in the world of GoT. There is nothing to believe in because according to GoT, all of humanity and its values are corrupt, sinister and meaningless and people are not to be trusted. I’m not trying to push religion, but this is just nonsense. It is a miserably inaccurate reflection of humanity throughout history.
13) Evil Always Wins - In this aspect, it is the anti-Tolkien, which sounds great, until you realize in GoT, Martin forges so far to this end of the spectrum that is not compelling anymore and becomes as uninteresting as every childhood fantasy you ever read where good triumphs. It’s insulting and does not make the plot nuanced or layered. You’re brow-beaten to death by evil always winning that its nauseating.
14) Medieval Porn - This is HBO’s answer to Skinemax. It is in your face and it is revolting. The show's reliance on nudity, sex scenes and abusive sex is appalling, and a sign of cheap thrills being substituted for actual substance. Unfortunately, the books contain the same amateurish dependence on sex slaves, prostitution, and sex in an effort to distract everyone from the god-awful prose. It is purposeless nudity just to show naked bodies.
15) It tries too hard - Where Tolkien and others sat down and created mythical worlds without trying to stroke their own inflated ego, GoT wants to be genius, but it’s not. It is a narrative driven by simplicity. It is a basic medieval history story wrapped around ignorant and childishly motivated political subterfuge that happens to contain a few fantasy elements targeted to misogynistic males, who use the show to justify their own secret addiction to abusive porn.
16) Boobs and Blood - That sums up GoT in a nutshell. It lacks originality. It is rudimentary story telling with characters constantly making foolish decisions and acting on every base desire they’ve ever had. Gratuitous nudity does not equate to sophistication, and blood and gore does not equate to cleverness. It is a basic hedonistic morality play, and its alleged philosophy is so kindergarten-level crude that it’s laughable.
There, I feel a lot better now that I got that off my chest. Also, I think Scott was absolutely correct when he referred to it as Lame of Thrones.
1) Books overrated too - Verbose, long-winded, boring, and forget remembering characters -- they’ll either be killed or won’t return for another 500 pages after you've been introduced to 100 more.
2) It's Dungeons and Dragons on Steroids - It’s all violence, rape and Guantanamo Bay torture that people preach against in real life, but find titillating when they play it on HBO. Martin can’t decide who he hates/likes more, the men raping the women or the women who prostitute themselves for the men.
3) It's not really fantasy - You can’t just messily throw in a few dragons and have some undead walking snow people and call your garbage an epic fantasy. This stuff is like a bad allegory of the modern world at best or an insightful examination into how Martin views society at worst, which means he really hates you.
4) Cardboard characters - Not only is there an abundance of characters, they are also flat and one-dimensional. If you want character growth, you won’t find it here. Partly because they all die before they get that far, and partly because Martin has substituted character growth with just adding another character to fill the missing dimensions.
5) Tribalism - One aspect of the show that is particularly dangerous and troubling is its depiction of tribalism. It’s reminiscent of Twilight and the Hunger Games, making everyone pick a side or a team. It’s very militaristic and apparently no one in the GoT universe has ever heard of diplomacy. Instead, they settle all of their geo-political feuds with force, war and murder.
6) Winter is Never Coming - This is the biggest MacGuffin in the history of fiction. This is similar to people who claim the apocalypse is coming. At some point, you just start to role your eyes, laugh, and stare because they’re morons. Winter is never coming and when it does, who will be alive in the GoT universe to care?
7) Nothing Matters - Sure, it is not the same good vs. evil of Tolkien, but it’s not overly clever either. The characters accomplish nothing but sex and killing, and their motivations are perfunctorily mundane. It’s all power for powers sake, which is exasperatingly dull and dim-witted and not at all the intellectual geopolitical masterpiece it claims to be.
8) The Fans - Basically, if you don’t like this show, the rabid fans who might actually believe in dragons and look up to Joffrey as a role model call you an idiot, insult your intelligence and treat you like you’re scum. They are insufferable and intolerant to the opinions of people who don’t like a show that was obviously written for boys still passing through puberty.
9) It's Pointless - Better yet, it has one main point that it drives home every chance it gets. Everyone dies. You die, she dies, he dies, they die, and everyone gets to die. This show's success is a statement on our sex and death-obsessed culture, and that’s not a good thing.
10) Lazy Storytelling - There is a lot going on in GoT, but it’s not as dense or as complicated as pompous fans want you to believe. In actuality, it’s rather banal. The problem lies in the fact that the show and Martin rely on shock and awe to move the story. Death, sex, homosexuality, character overload, dragons, etc.
11) Everyone Dies - It’s that simple. Martin hates you and he hates people, so he kills them. Unless that character is a despicable person -- then he lets them live. Martin has a hard-on for villains and there is no room for actual nobility in his world, which isn’t a bad thing. But his insistence on murdering anyone who possesses even remotely good qualities in favor of keeping the vilest alive indicates a sad, grotesquely warped world view.
12) Nihilistic Propaganda - Martin appears to be an extremely bitter nihilist who doesn’t believe in anything and thinks moral principles are bunk. Life has no value in the world of GoT. There is nothing to believe in because according to GoT, all of humanity and its values are corrupt, sinister and meaningless and people are not to be trusted. I’m not trying to push religion, but this is just nonsense. It is a miserably inaccurate reflection of humanity throughout history.
13) Evil Always Wins - In this aspect, it is the anti-Tolkien, which sounds great, until you realize in GoT, Martin forges so far to this end of the spectrum that is not compelling anymore and becomes as uninteresting as every childhood fantasy you ever read where good triumphs. It’s insulting and does not make the plot nuanced or layered. You’re brow-beaten to death by evil always winning that its nauseating.
14) Medieval Porn - This is HBO’s answer to Skinemax. It is in your face and it is revolting. The show's reliance on nudity, sex scenes and abusive sex is appalling, and a sign of cheap thrills being substituted for actual substance. Unfortunately, the books contain the same amateurish dependence on sex slaves, prostitution, and sex in an effort to distract everyone from the god-awful prose. It is purposeless nudity just to show naked bodies.
15) It tries too hard - Where Tolkien and others sat down and created mythical worlds without trying to stroke their own inflated ego, GoT wants to be genius, but it’s not. It is a narrative driven by simplicity. It is a basic medieval history story wrapped around ignorant and childishly motivated political subterfuge that happens to contain a few fantasy elements targeted to misogynistic males, who use the show to justify their own secret addiction to abusive porn.
16) Boobs and Blood - That sums up GoT in a nutshell. It lacks originality. It is rudimentary story telling with characters constantly making foolish decisions and acting on every base desire they’ve ever had. Gratuitous nudity does not equate to sophistication, and blood and gore does not equate to cleverness. It is a basic hedonistic morality play, and its alleged philosophy is so kindergarten-level crude that it’s laughable.
There, I feel a lot better now that I got that off my chest. Also, I think Scott was absolutely correct when he referred to it as Lame of Thrones.
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