Tripps
26 Oct 05, 18:11
The dialogue is almost as good as the games :)
He's Bloggins-Updown, I'm Beatmalls, in the current CMAK 3 way game.
We feel we should give you all this one chance to surrender. No need for a lot of blood shed, surrender and we will all live to see our loved ones again. What say,...let's call all this combat nonsense off and have some chanti, shall we. there's a good lad.
Colonel Nathaniel Fitzhume Sebastian Bloggins-Updown
Commanding Officer, No 1 Mechanized Brigade
United Nations Emergency Reaction Force
Well thats very polite and chivalrous of you - as well as being mightily humerous - we all got a jolly laugh out of that.
very sporting considering your unfortunate predicament, so for seeing the lighter side we shall allow some of you to survive....
Col Skapetti Beatmalls
Commanding Officer
3rd ANZAC Mech Regiment.
I really must insist that you lay down your weapons and surrender. You are in Egypt illegally and this is a very, very serious breach of international protocols. The Grand Mufti of Egypt has asked the British government for aid in defending their national boundaries and the King , quite rightly, has agreed to be of assistance. This sort of behaviour on your part only proves the point of those who do not trust the Italian government, you see.
So you see, you really don't have any legal legs to stand on in this situation I am afraid. Therefore, as laid down in "Oxford Rules of War" (1937 edition, abridged), you must surrender yourselves to the dually appointed authorities,...that being the British Army (seconded to the United Nations, of course),...until a political solution to the current international crisis resolves the situation. At which time you and your equipment will be repatriated to your homeland.
Quite simple, really. Now be good and proper gentlemen and form up by platoons and companies along the road, one kit back per man, stack your arms and prepare to be moved to the rear.
I do thank you ever so much, in advance, of course, for your prompt attention to this matter. We are frightfully busy today and have many more Italian positions to visit before nightfall.
I can count on your full cooperation then?
Sincerely,
Colonel Nathaniel Fitzhume Sebastian Bloggins-Updown
Commanding Officer, No 1 Mechanized Brigade
United Nations Emergency Reaction Force
This is totally ridiculous - United who? Never heard of it - More imperialistic propaganda no doubt - as we are all part of the League of Nations - or were - we are completely unphased by this absolute rubbish - besides, just when does Oxford law apply to the rest of the world? Next you will be telling us you are here in anticipatory self defense or some such when we have never even farted in your direction...
You have probably put this nonsense upon our Egyptians allies as well, we are here peacefully, and then you come along Mr Colonel Nathaniel Fitzhume Sebastian Bloggins-Updown, and -bomb- our good friend Le Hans residence! Outrageous!
Cpt Covre was quite peacefully preparing a welcoming feast of spaghetti and pasta for when you arrived hitherto then to treat as my intermediary as to pursuing good relations when your forces dropped a considerable amount of ordinance upon him (and the house he is looking after) - and its an understatement he's not happy about this situation - he requests that you immediately cease fire and withdraw - upon which time, and not before, we can then negotiate like civilised people.
Col Skapetti Beatmalls
Commanding Officer
3rd ANZAC Mech Regiment.
U-N-I-T-T-E-D N-A-T-I-O-N-S (bloody foreigners). We are,...or rather soon shall be, the replacement for the defunct League of Nations. It our job to enforce international peace wherever it is deemed necessary and it would appear that Egypt fits this category. Now, I do apoligize to your Captain Covre for the stray rounds and do hope his souffle is not ruined but again, I must insist that you disarm immediately. If deemed necessary, I do have the option to resort various levels of force with which to persuade you to comply. However, you seem like a reasonable chap, so I doubt you would wish us to resort to violence - ugly business that.
Now then. I have sent to the region development office for the forms with which to catalogue all you various bits and pieces of gear and will allow you two assign observers to my disarmament teams to make sure everything is kept on the up and up. Other than that, I am afraid, you really have no other options. There's a good lad.
Colonel Nathaniel Fitzhume Sebastian Bloggins-Updown
Commanding Officer, No 1 Mechanized Brigade
United Nations Emergency Reaction Force
YOU are replacing the League of Nations? By whos right do you determine this? and besides, uniting the world are we, by slaughtering innocent people and conquering countries one by one? Pft, I spit on your United Empire, pft pft pft.
Cpt Covre is a perfect example, first you fire indiscriminate shell fire at him and his men whilst cooking lunch, and now you drive armoured vehicles all through Le Hans residence, tearing up the flower beds (have YOU tried growing roses in the desert?)
He has no choice but to hide indoors - some chivalry you are showing, driving up in armoured beasts while he awaits with his pistol and dueling sword.
Just wait til they move on and he can deal with the non-armoured invading imperial pigs following along behind.
Col Skapetti Beatmalls
Commanding Officer
3rd ANZAC Mech Regiment.
Colonel,... Beatmalls,
Now see here, my good man!!! Those tanks were property of His Majesty's government and paid for by the British taxpayer. You can't just go shooting holes them!! It is simply not civilized! My God, man, some one could have been injured!! Now you will have to fill out form UNDR(a)3172857-12c in triplicate explaining what actions, or omission of act or acts, led to the damage of said UN property. Likewise, your Captain Covre can submit a UNDR(fb) 8634759-3t damage claim for his flower garden, also in triplicate. I shall have a clerk deliver the forms to you by tea this afternoon. Awfully sorry about the roses, they are my favourite, you know.
Right. Now that we have that administrative unpleasantness behind us shall we return to matters at hand. <Ahem> Yes, the United Nations, and no, we don't conquer countries one by one we "liberate" them. In the name of democracy and freedom and human rights and all that left wing business.
And do mind your language, it is quite offensive and completely unnecessary. Now then, about your surrender.
Colonel Nathaniel Fitzhume Sebastian Bloggins-Updown
Commanding Officer, No 1 Mechanized Brigade
United Nations Emergency Reaction Force
Colonel Nathan Fitzhume Sebastian Bloggins-Updown, these marauding vehicles belong to you? These are the very same vehicles that have been described to the Grand Mufti as terrorising the local population, with massacres and all sorts of barbaric happenings on.
Care to explain how these same said vehicles are now in your service?
The (few) survivors speak of the crew when they rape the pillage speaking a very 'cockney' flavour of bad Italian - almost as though they were trying to frame another nation for these atrocities - very bad behaviour, wouldnt you agree?
Now, I know an upstanding gentlemen like yourself would not be party to these... unwanton acts of despicable behaviour, so if you could just regroup your forces, including all those suspicious cannon fodder..err, i mean, Light AFV's - say, at "the meeting place" - and we will send out a negotiating party to get to the bottom of this.
Col Skapetti Beatmalls
Commanding Officer
3rd ANZAC Mech Regiment.
Colonel Beatmalls,
It will do you no good to cast dispersion upon UN troops. We have film crews from neutral countries with each unit recording events as we go about making the world safe for democracy. If violations of international law are taking place in Arab villages they are not being committed by UN forces. I suggest you look to your fascist militias for the culprits.
Further, I can assume that your continued engagement of UN troops means you have decided upon expanding the current emergency situation into armed conflict. This is regrettable. If it not your intention to offer further armed resistance to UN operations in this area then I expect you to announce a general cease fire in the next two minutes or face the consequences.
Time is short, Colonel, a decision is forced upon.
Colonel Nathaniel Fitzhume Sebastian Bloggins-Updown
Commanding Officer, No 1 Mechanized Brigade
United Nations Emergency Reaction Force
Colonel Bloggins-Updown
They wouldn't be film crews from the neutral country of America would they?
We have heard all about their "neutral" films, made no doubt in a place called Hollywood, renowned world wide for unbiased and genuine authenticity.
(In the event the point being lost in translation because of language barriers between our ancient and refined language and your barbaric pigeon version of it not, I'll manually state "add copious amounts of sarcasm there")
The continued engagement is an act of self defense, and totally justifiable, all units have been ordered to fire warning shots (you may notice puffs of dust in this event) and if you continue to advance towards our field kitchens the units have been ordered to engage to protect their lunch when you reach within 200 yards - its almost as if I'm holding my fist out and your ramming your head into it after repeated warning of the consequences - can't blame us old chap.
In 2 minutes time you may review the consequences of your actions and ask the remaining crews of your former-AFV's if they thought they had been dealt a stern enough hammer of justice for their previous actions towards unarmed and peaceful civilians.
Until then Colonel,
Col Skapetti Beatmalls
Commanding Officer
3rd ANZAC Mech Regiment
He's Bloggins-Updown, I'm Beatmalls, in the current CMAK 3 way game.
We feel we should give you all this one chance to surrender. No need for a lot of blood shed, surrender and we will all live to see our loved ones again. What say,...let's call all this combat nonsense off and have some chanti, shall we. there's a good lad.
Colonel Nathaniel Fitzhume Sebastian Bloggins-Updown
Commanding Officer, No 1 Mechanized Brigade
United Nations Emergency Reaction Force
Well thats very polite and chivalrous of you - as well as being mightily humerous - we all got a jolly laugh out of that.
very sporting considering your unfortunate predicament, so for seeing the lighter side we shall allow some of you to survive....
Col Skapetti Beatmalls
Commanding Officer
3rd ANZAC Mech Regiment.
I really must insist that you lay down your weapons and surrender. You are in Egypt illegally and this is a very, very serious breach of international protocols. The Grand Mufti of Egypt has asked the British government for aid in defending their national boundaries and the King , quite rightly, has agreed to be of assistance. This sort of behaviour on your part only proves the point of those who do not trust the Italian government, you see.
So you see, you really don't have any legal legs to stand on in this situation I am afraid. Therefore, as laid down in "Oxford Rules of War" (1937 edition, abridged), you must surrender yourselves to the dually appointed authorities,...that being the British Army (seconded to the United Nations, of course),...until a political solution to the current international crisis resolves the situation. At which time you and your equipment will be repatriated to your homeland.
Quite simple, really. Now be good and proper gentlemen and form up by platoons and companies along the road, one kit back per man, stack your arms and prepare to be moved to the rear.
I do thank you ever so much, in advance, of course, for your prompt attention to this matter. We are frightfully busy today and have many more Italian positions to visit before nightfall.
I can count on your full cooperation then?
Sincerely,
Colonel Nathaniel Fitzhume Sebastian Bloggins-Updown
Commanding Officer, No 1 Mechanized Brigade
United Nations Emergency Reaction Force
This is totally ridiculous - United who? Never heard of it - More imperialistic propaganda no doubt - as we are all part of the League of Nations - or were - we are completely unphased by this absolute rubbish - besides, just when does Oxford law apply to the rest of the world? Next you will be telling us you are here in anticipatory self defense or some such when we have never even farted in your direction...
You have probably put this nonsense upon our Egyptians allies as well, we are here peacefully, and then you come along Mr Colonel Nathaniel Fitzhume Sebastian Bloggins-Updown, and -bomb- our good friend Le Hans residence! Outrageous!
Cpt Covre was quite peacefully preparing a welcoming feast of spaghetti and pasta for when you arrived hitherto then to treat as my intermediary as to pursuing good relations when your forces dropped a considerable amount of ordinance upon him (and the house he is looking after) - and its an understatement he's not happy about this situation - he requests that you immediately cease fire and withdraw - upon which time, and not before, we can then negotiate like civilised people.
Col Skapetti Beatmalls
Commanding Officer
3rd ANZAC Mech Regiment.
U-N-I-T-T-E-D N-A-T-I-O-N-S (bloody foreigners). We are,...or rather soon shall be, the replacement for the defunct League of Nations. It our job to enforce international peace wherever it is deemed necessary and it would appear that Egypt fits this category. Now, I do apoligize to your Captain Covre for the stray rounds and do hope his souffle is not ruined but again, I must insist that you disarm immediately. If deemed necessary, I do have the option to resort various levels of force with which to persuade you to comply. However, you seem like a reasonable chap, so I doubt you would wish us to resort to violence - ugly business that.
Now then. I have sent to the region development office for the forms with which to catalogue all you various bits and pieces of gear and will allow you two assign observers to my disarmament teams to make sure everything is kept on the up and up. Other than that, I am afraid, you really have no other options. There's a good lad.
Colonel Nathaniel Fitzhume Sebastian Bloggins-Updown
Commanding Officer, No 1 Mechanized Brigade
United Nations Emergency Reaction Force
YOU are replacing the League of Nations? By whos right do you determine this? and besides, uniting the world are we, by slaughtering innocent people and conquering countries one by one? Pft, I spit on your United Empire, pft pft pft.
Cpt Covre is a perfect example, first you fire indiscriminate shell fire at him and his men whilst cooking lunch, and now you drive armoured vehicles all through Le Hans residence, tearing up the flower beds (have YOU tried growing roses in the desert?)
He has no choice but to hide indoors - some chivalry you are showing, driving up in armoured beasts while he awaits with his pistol and dueling sword.
Just wait til they move on and he can deal with the non-armoured invading imperial pigs following along behind.
Col Skapetti Beatmalls
Commanding Officer
3rd ANZAC Mech Regiment.
Colonel,... Beatmalls,
Now see here, my good man!!! Those tanks were property of His Majesty's government and paid for by the British taxpayer. You can't just go shooting holes them!! It is simply not civilized! My God, man, some one could have been injured!! Now you will have to fill out form UNDR(a)3172857-12c in triplicate explaining what actions, or omission of act or acts, led to the damage of said UN property. Likewise, your Captain Covre can submit a UNDR(fb) 8634759-3t damage claim for his flower garden, also in triplicate. I shall have a clerk deliver the forms to you by tea this afternoon. Awfully sorry about the roses, they are my favourite, you know.
Right. Now that we have that administrative unpleasantness behind us shall we return to matters at hand. <Ahem> Yes, the United Nations, and no, we don't conquer countries one by one we "liberate" them. In the name of democracy and freedom and human rights and all that left wing business.
And do mind your language, it is quite offensive and completely unnecessary. Now then, about your surrender.
Colonel Nathaniel Fitzhume Sebastian Bloggins-Updown
Commanding Officer, No 1 Mechanized Brigade
United Nations Emergency Reaction Force
Colonel Nathan Fitzhume Sebastian Bloggins-Updown, these marauding vehicles belong to you? These are the very same vehicles that have been described to the Grand Mufti as terrorising the local population, with massacres and all sorts of barbaric happenings on.
Care to explain how these same said vehicles are now in your service?
The (few) survivors speak of the crew when they rape the pillage speaking a very 'cockney' flavour of bad Italian - almost as though they were trying to frame another nation for these atrocities - very bad behaviour, wouldnt you agree?
Now, I know an upstanding gentlemen like yourself would not be party to these... unwanton acts of despicable behaviour, so if you could just regroup your forces, including all those suspicious cannon fodder..err, i mean, Light AFV's - say, at "the meeting place" - and we will send out a negotiating party to get to the bottom of this.
Col Skapetti Beatmalls
Commanding Officer
3rd ANZAC Mech Regiment.
Colonel Beatmalls,
It will do you no good to cast dispersion upon UN troops. We have film crews from neutral countries with each unit recording events as we go about making the world safe for democracy. If violations of international law are taking place in Arab villages they are not being committed by UN forces. I suggest you look to your fascist militias for the culprits.
Further, I can assume that your continued engagement of UN troops means you have decided upon expanding the current emergency situation into armed conflict. This is regrettable. If it not your intention to offer further armed resistance to UN operations in this area then I expect you to announce a general cease fire in the next two minutes or face the consequences.
Time is short, Colonel, a decision is forced upon.
Colonel Nathaniel Fitzhume Sebastian Bloggins-Updown
Commanding Officer, No 1 Mechanized Brigade
United Nations Emergency Reaction Force
Colonel Bloggins-Updown
They wouldn't be film crews from the neutral country of America would they?
We have heard all about their "neutral" films, made no doubt in a place called Hollywood, renowned world wide for unbiased and genuine authenticity.
(In the event the point being lost in translation because of language barriers between our ancient and refined language and your barbaric pigeon version of it not, I'll manually state "add copious amounts of sarcasm there")
The continued engagement is an act of self defense, and totally justifiable, all units have been ordered to fire warning shots (you may notice puffs of dust in this event) and if you continue to advance towards our field kitchens the units have been ordered to engage to protect their lunch when you reach within 200 yards - its almost as if I'm holding my fist out and your ramming your head into it after repeated warning of the consequences - can't blame us old chap.
In 2 minutes time you may review the consequences of your actions and ask the remaining crews of your former-AFV's if they thought they had been dealt a stern enough hammer of justice for their previous actions towards unarmed and peaceful civilians.
Until then Colonel,
Col Skapetti Beatmalls
Commanding Officer
3rd ANZAC Mech Regiment