Abatis
15 Sep 05, 17:14
....From a 250 pound radio in a 375 pound case with a zillion tubes, and 2 knobs comes the tinny, shrill sound of a sports broadcast trying to push it's way through a blizzard. Somehwere in the Great white north of Canada, Jason Petho sits in a snowed in little log cabin, fiendishly designing maps and scenarios for a bunch of lumberjacks and the last Whooly Mammoth in hiding, circa 1944. The Canadian National Hockey Team has traveled time to find the right squad for this grudge match against the SS. All ears in Canada are tuned in, national pride is at stake! Tonite Team Canada faces off against the feared SS Hockey Squad at Carpiquet.
*High frequency radio interference* The lumber jacks wince and start jeering. Petho smacks the cabinent and the reception clears, they have missed the first face off but already the Canadians seem to be on the move!
"....Bob Mckensie takes control of the puck at center ice! He passes off to Doug! Then he cracks a beer!
Doug dekes off one SS thug, and pounds for the net! He's all alone, just him and Dr Mengele inside the goal crease!! He winds up for the slap shot!
*Ka !BLAM!!* (followed by a shreik of pain..)
Oh my God!! This announcer has never seen the likes of this! A hockey stick was hurled by an SS defensman back at center ice and imbeded itself into Mckensie's back, he's lossed control of the puck! Mengele clears the puck! Oh my god! Look at that stick sticking out of his back, it's quivering with the impact ! Doug cracks a beer! and waits for medical attention.
*tweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeettt!* The whistle blows ! The referee gives the SS thug 2 minutes in the gas chamber for "spear chucking", He does not look happy about it either! (gunshot)
Oh my god! The SS thug defensman just shot the ref in the head! The zambonies head out to the ice!
The reserve ref is suiting up. I don't know folks, I think this is getting out of hand here.
It looks like Coach Bowman intends to reap some pay -back, as he sends the Hanson brothers out on to the ice for the Canadians Powerplay. It looks like Bobby Orr will step in for injured Doug McKensie..I don't see him coming back in folks. "
(Organ Music interlude)
"...Alright...looks like they have the injured player off the ice, and the zambonie's have the blood almost all cleaned up! The SS defensman, something er other Fritzschurnurlblizten-number 35, said he was "only following orders", but it didn't matter to the reserve ref, who is none other than Winston Churchill, and brooched no BS as he put the SS thug in the gas -chamber for 30 minutes. We're almost ready for face off, as the SS Squad makes a few line adjustments...and here we are, the Canadians are on the PowerPlay!!"
....Jason rubs frost off the inside of the window and looks outside, the wind howls, and fine, gritty snow beats against the pane. The exhalation of the Whooly Mammoth, peering in as Jason peers out, momentarily eclispes the sliver of a moon that can be seen. A wolf howls of course. Several of the lumber jacks change into evening wear, nothing too whorey, just nice pretty laces and soft satins in pink and white. Jason rolls his eyes and pays closer attention to the game. It's another day in the life for a proffesional map maker!
*High frequency radio interference* The lumber jacks wince and start jeering. Petho smacks the cabinent and the reception clears, they have missed the first face off but already the Canadians seem to be on the move!
"....Bob Mckensie takes control of the puck at center ice! He passes off to Doug! Then he cracks a beer!
Doug dekes off one SS thug, and pounds for the net! He's all alone, just him and Dr Mengele inside the goal crease!! He winds up for the slap shot!
*Ka !BLAM!!* (followed by a shreik of pain..)
Oh my God!! This announcer has never seen the likes of this! A hockey stick was hurled by an SS defensman back at center ice and imbeded itself into Mckensie's back, he's lossed control of the puck! Mengele clears the puck! Oh my god! Look at that stick sticking out of his back, it's quivering with the impact ! Doug cracks a beer! and waits for medical attention.
*tweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeettt!* The whistle blows ! The referee gives the SS thug 2 minutes in the gas chamber for "spear chucking", He does not look happy about it either! (gunshot)
Oh my god! The SS thug defensman just shot the ref in the head! The zambonies head out to the ice!
The reserve ref is suiting up. I don't know folks, I think this is getting out of hand here.
It looks like Coach Bowman intends to reap some pay -back, as he sends the Hanson brothers out on to the ice for the Canadians Powerplay. It looks like Bobby Orr will step in for injured Doug McKensie..I don't see him coming back in folks. "
(Organ Music interlude)
"...Alright...looks like they have the injured player off the ice, and the zambonie's have the blood almost all cleaned up! The SS defensman, something er other Fritzschurnurlblizten-number 35, said he was "only following orders", but it didn't matter to the reserve ref, who is none other than Winston Churchill, and brooched no BS as he put the SS thug in the gas -chamber for 30 minutes. We're almost ready for face off, as the SS Squad makes a few line adjustments...and here we are, the Canadians are on the PowerPlay!!"
....Jason rubs frost off the inside of the window and looks outside, the wind howls, and fine, gritty snow beats against the pane. The exhalation of the Whooly Mammoth, peering in as Jason peers out, momentarily eclispes the sliver of a moon that can be seen. A wolf howls of course. Several of the lumber jacks change into evening wear, nothing too whorey, just nice pretty laces and soft satins in pink and white. Jason rolls his eyes and pays closer attention to the game. It's another day in the life for a proffesional map maker!